The division within the Autistic Community will NEVER result in acceptance / preparing myself for tomorrow.

While browsing Twitter earlier I came across Autistics which do not agree with my tactics regarding fighting for equality. To be frank, I don’t think their tactics of tiptoeing around neurotypicals because they fear reprisals as a marginalised community will get them anywhere. They don’t want to ‘rock the boat’ because they’re scared that things will get taken off of them as they have done with those of us that have gone up against those being ignorant within the system. Those of us that are Autistic adults suffer discrimination and bullying all the time because neurotypicals don’t see us as equal. There needs to be more Autistic adults like myself who has similar tactics of fighting discrimination and inequality to finally end that crap. When people started listening to me back in the day I was labelled a criminal because at that time (2006) people didn’t talk openly about mental health or challenge discrimination stemming from it. It was a way of discrediting me and they succeeded because no one has listened to me since but looked only at the label and kept judging me in a negative light.

I’d also just like to say about the autistic community not helping me when I was trying to keep my son. I had to fight for him on my own. Some of the people I spoke to within the community were even solicitors etc. Therefore, I have absolutely no reason to be thankful whatsoever when it comes to the so called Autistic community. Everyone aims to help autistic kids, but when it comes to us adults we’re just seen as the generation not worth helping. We don’t like being failed and blamed for services letting us down. I get ill a lot but my physical health is ignored when I go to the GP. It doesn’t matter what GP I’m registered with because even my new one hasn’t got back to me about counselling. It’s like we don’t exist and that is probably why the average life expectancy for people with Autism is 35. We go to the doctors and our health problems aren’t addressed. I had to take another person to my appointment with me to get tests which showed that I was anaemic. I have been told by my offender manager to get tests to see if the painkillers have affected my liver functioning but trying to get the GP to send me for those tests is much more difficult than you’d think it would be if they see that you’re diagnosed with a form of autism or learning disability.

I have my appointment to get into the support group of ESA tomorrow (because I cannot work due to depression and anxiety at the moment). I’m trying to get into that group as well because it’s slightly more money while I’m fighting to get PIP. I need it to afford the my rent and living expenses because what I’m getting now leaves me living off savings for a fortnight a month after all the necessities are paid. I am going to my appointment with my hair not straightened, no make up and I’m going to sleep in my clothes tonight so that I smell like I have depression. I’m not going to mask my anxiety and I’m taking someone with me to fill in the gaps so I’m not the one speaking all the time. I can explain the ins and outs my disability issues but that isn’t going to get me my benefits back because of their assessment criteria.