So much work, so little rewards. If anything, all my dedication does is bring me trouble.

I have been doing this Autism awareness campaigning since I was 17. I am 31 in a few weeks. That is a decade or more doing this stuff. I’ve seen people doing the same sort of thing for much shorter lengths of times and been given awards. I’ve never done it to get awards or anything back but it is irritating. I will go so much further than most people to prove a point or challenge those in authority. I dedicated my life to this activism role. I could have given all that up and focused on something else. I could have had people close to me and not be afraid that they might get reprisals from those in high places which I may have upset during this type of work. I could have protected my son from being adopted if I hadn’t ever chosen to do this activism/campaigning role.

The government agencies will punish us in whatever way they can due to trying to lift the lid on certain things. It is just how it works. They’re not going to make dealing with them easy if you’ve previously gone up against them about issues relating to autism. I never saw the danger of getting involved in some of the underground things that go on. If you’re really in any government agencies way they can actually ‘make you disappear’, for example, they can make your death look like an accident. In the system there are many dark terrible things going on and if you happen to stumble on them then you may be silenced by force in any way possible. I have come across terrible things that will haunt me for the rest of my life and I truly can’t believe how those that have been aware of it allowed it to continue happening. I sometimes question whether some who are supposedly trusted to work in government jobs are even human after seeing some of the things that they do. I would rather my activism/campaigning for Autism brought some kind of reward rather than trouble.