I’m at my Mothers today under duress as the Car had to go for the MOT today. I’ve got my dinner there this evening but I’m going to go home earlier than normal. I find her so irritating. She rings me constantly this morning to get me to the MOT appointment. I literally have to cleanse myself of her negativity every time I spend any time with her. I spend time with her under
obligation love rather than because of anything else. If I don’t stick around then I won’t inherit a house. The amount she moans about whatever has happened made me grow up into a negative person. Nothing is ever ‘good enough’. I’m never going to be successful enough in life for her expectations. I tell her that I may never work because of my Autism and other issues caused by my experiences, even though I am basically traumatised at the moment, but she’s pushing me to work. I used to want to work but I’m mentally unable to cope with too much after what I’ve been through. I honestly don’t see myself working for at least five years if I do manage it. I’m always too tired, even when my sleep pattern is ‘normal’. I used to push myself quite hard but now I don’t see why I should because I’m only wearing myself out and others do not appreciate me. I’ve rather just do as little as possible and only when it needs doing.
I do have a plan to dispute my court ordered punishment but I’m not giving away details here because it’s not wise to publish details of your legal planning on a blog before you play your cards. I’m determined to prove that I don’t deserve to have to carry out any further punishment. And, if I can do that, I may go further down the legal routes to get justice. I refuse to accept an order on my name indefinitely and if I can’t get any sensible decisions from the other side of the case… then it looks like I’m going to have to find a ‘loophole’, and believe me I will go through as many legal documents and acts as possible to find a gap not covered in law which I can use. I tried asking for a reasonable resolution between myself and the other party but they weren’t interested. I’m now doing it through third parties and making sure the other party looks as awful as possible using their friends messages to me. I didn’t want to have to do these tactics but the other side didn’t want to be civil. I want the order off as a matter of principal and to me that is the start of justice. I may go for compensation for emotional distress because of how it’s left me. I’d take them to the cleaners if I had the funds. I did say I’m no longer prepared to take ANY sh*t.