Deal with It! I had to and now I’m a monster.

Those that are not happy I cut them off are just going to have to deal with it. I just don’t want them around me right now.  I do not care what others think or if that decision hurts them. Grow a pair and stay out of my life. The discrimination and general difficulties I’ve experienced has turned me into a monster. There is no way I’m going to be apologetic for that. Others let me down when I needed them and treated me with an attitude I never deserved. So now I’m developing an attitude that lives up to all the negative judgment. I’m never going to get anyone to understand my disability issues and actually work with me rather than against me so I’m now going to be as difficult as possible. It doesn’t matter that I was never a nasty type. Others neglected my needs and made me this so that I no longer hurt on a daily basis. I’m refusing to do unpaid work for a society that failed me. I don’t need the extra stress right now as I am in need of a rest.  They can make it an issue but I think spending a month in prison is enough punishment not to mention all the trauma and fines I experienced during the whole ridiculous case against me. I’ve basically been held up against the wall and legally silenced from ever getting justice. At the time I said the things that started off the case I was well within my rights to be angry at the other person involved in a situation where I was 99% sure they could have stuck up for me. They didn’t because I asked around and, despite what they’ve told all their mates, they actually backstabbed me in the situation. Tell me again why I shouldn’t have said things in anger to them after that awful behaviour that they displayed. I knew it but I since had it confirmed that they were a shit behind my back. I’m prepared to say these things to a court too. I despise abusers of any form. The sly calculating ones are the worse to have dealings with as a person with social and learning disabilities.

When I melt down it is due to the fact that I’m trying to tell others that I’m innocent and they’re not listening. So then I end up not looking innocent.  In regards to innocent I mean that my intentions aren’t malicious. I really just wanted a friend, nothing more. The people I met in my life have tried to milk the situation and get me labelled as something I’m not. It is simply human nature to get annoyed at another when you’re mistreated and no one listened to you whatsoever. As I said before, unless they’re punishing us, those of us labelled with learning disabilities etc aren’t heard.