Please help me out.

I know that others probably won’t help me but I may as well put it out there. I’m in a bad way and I’m not sure if I can survive life much longer. The painkillers are so hard to ditch with the way things remain. Things changing would help me a lot. In all fairness I didn’t tell others about the painkiller addiction. Now I’m out in the open with it. Surely I deserve some kindness. I deserve to have forgiveness and things fixed. I don’t think I can stay off of them without the other person doing the right thing. Leaving things as they are isn’t helping me.