I’m not feeling too great. I am about to go on cold turkey to get off painkillers. I’ve ran out of them. I have to wait for them to get out of my system. I’ve cut the dosage down towards running out and I feel quite agitated, anxious like I’m trapped. It’s a horrible feeling because I could scream. I’m not going to do that because it’s the middle of the night and I live in a flat. I have woken up screaming after nightmares before and that bad for that. I just feel restless.
The system caused my addiction because it doesn’t understand mental illness properly. It has always done the wrong thing for me to ever get better. They take people away from me. The more that happened I compensated for it with my addiction. I am in this position because I was abandoned when I most needed the support.