Woken up at a stupid hour! And now suffering quite a bit.

I actually went to sleep earlier but was waking up every hour and after 1am I couldn’t get back to sleep. It’s now 3am and I am  suffering quite a bit. I woke up with a headache. I got up for a drink of water and then completely woke myself up. I am extremely tired. I keep having dreams every time I doze off. Then I’m awake again. The dreams are surrounding what has gone on. Things are haunting me so badly at the moment. Last night my hearing got sensitive enough to hear electricity. Th at was quite annoying. I hear high pitch noises from electrical currents in the plug sockets. That can be quite irritating if it’s a very quiet night. The dreams are really stressing me out. It just feels like I’m destined for torment over everything. I wish that others would play fair but that’s never going to happen. I’ve waited a long time for others to do the right thing but they are obviously awful people who doesn’t care what distress they’re causing me. It’s not a choice. I’m traumatised by what has gone on. If they truly had no bad feelings toward me (as a statement said in the court) then surely they’d not want me to be this affected. Unless they are truly that heartless and selfish. Not everything revolves around their needs and wants. I need things sorting for my own sanity. It will take away the worse of the trauma I feel over everything. That isn’t what I want. It’s a need for my own peace. I am not wanting to have anything to do with a person who I now feel absolutely hurt by now I know certain things. I fear all people now but I fear the other person involved so much more. I know that it is a step that we will both have to be willing to take to put a lid on the past. A lid can’t be put on the past with the order still running. It creates a bad atmosphere… especially when it comes to karma. If the manifestation of energy applies in every aspect of life… Then this means that order could potentially have a wider affect on the lives of those named on it. It’s not bullsh*t. I would have thought that at one point but the stuff I learned inside changed my views on the small things in life. Like a really tiny thing can cause a ripple affect. When you’re no longer ignorant to this then it annoys you that every one else is and continues to walk aimlessly causing karma blocks and negative energies while being completely unaware of what they are potentially causing on a wider scale. We are all supposed to be connected. That aspect makes it hell for those of us that can feel things. We can unintentionally ruin each other’s lives just by thinking nasty things or saying them. It’s all about what energy it manifests.

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