Day: September 18, 2018

I am on the GiffGaff network for my mobile phone because I didn’t want another contract which ties me down for 2 years or some other stupid length of time. I have their Always on* Goody Bag because it literally does everything for a decent price. They’ve put it up recently from £20 to £25. I’m not happy that they’re charging that much for a package which isn’t even working half of the time due to the network being overloaded. The network has started to get too many people registering with it because it is the only one that offers a lot for no monthly contract. They don’t have their own phone network as such, they are piggy backing off O2’s network. That means us and O2 customers are trying to use the network. If they aren’t going to have their own network points then they need to branch out. I hear that they also piggy back off the EE network. They need to piggy back off of every available network to avoid these issues. I wouldn’t mind but I am waiting for an important phone call regarding going back on anti depressants from the GP.

I have a landline but I’m always in and out so they’ve arranged to ring me on my mobile. The battery also isn’t too great in the landline phone. I have to leave it on the hook a lot nowadays. I will get another one, but it’s lack of money at the moment. I have to buy a new tyre for the car after busting the other one. There are so many things that are a priority before the likes of a new landline. It’s kind of obsolete nowadays anyway because most people just have a mobile. I only have a home number because of the fact that it came with the broadband package. I barely use it, but then I also have family who didn’t like calling my mobile phone number because it cost them a lot before TalkTalk made calling mobiles in with their packages. I could get rid of the landline number and just have the broadband. But, at times like this when the mobile network is playing up, I feel reassured that I have a second line in case of these times. I’ve never had this issue before, but I’ve looked online and others have been having it for quite a while. I would be considering looking around if I knew anywhere that did the same kind of no contract deal.

I have managed to sort out the medication now, but I had to ring up the surgery to tell them to phone back on the landline. I was tired when I got up this morning. I’m even more tired now because this mobile network issue is really getting irritating. I know that some parts of our town are black spots for reception. Today, it’s like most of the town has no signal. I managed to get 4g on a hill while I was walking earlier. Then I went back down the hill and there was barely anything. I walk in my flat and there is absolutely no signal in most of my rooms. I’m stressed when I have important phone calls. The doctors can have my mobile number but not everyone can because I don’t want to give it out to many people. It’s dangerous to give landline numbers out to people that I work with etc whom I don’t know well.

Anyway, I’m going now to pick up my prescription as I’ve finally sorted out my medication issues and they pharmacy is closing soon.

 

 

I feel completely fed up at the moment. I wish that I could get off what feels like a rollercoaster. And, I just found out about my incorrect usage of … punctuation. I always have used it when I wasn’t sure what to say, certainly not to imply that there was anything else which I weren’t saying. I realised that may have confused readers and made people think that I was maliciously leading people into truths that weren’t actually there. I never went to school a lot. I am learning things as I go along and I genuinely thought that punctuation was used to portray thinking rather than implying extra information. I may act more intelligent than I actually am. I never used to use it to imply anything, but apparently, this is how it is actually interpreted via the English language. It’s been hard having had barely any formal education. I’ve probably been punished for misinterpretation of my written communication. I didn’t see anything wrong in it. This was only due to not having had proper schooling from the age of 12. I was kicked out of school and then didn’t have chance to learn the social stuff because they didn’t really recognise Autism in children back then. They recognise them now, mostly accept them, but there are those on the PDA part of the spectrum still getting kicked out of formal education.

It is absolutely shameful that NICE refuses to recognise PDA as part of the spectrum. This results in those individuals not getting the right support. It wouldn’t be so bad awful if PDA support didn’t differ so much from every other Autism part of the spectrum. I think that NICE should recognise Pathological Demand Avoidance condition as a separate thing, rather than part of the Autistic Spectrum. It causes confusion which those of us with it do not need on top of the daily high anxiety we experience. If the ‘support’ is different than for other Autistic Spectrum Conditions then it really does need to be separated. It baffles those who do not know about ASD’s. People label individuals on this part of the spectrum as manipulative and other things associated with personality disorders.

It is harmful to diagnose anyone with a personality disorder or even put that it is suspected on their notes if they are instead PDA. Those with personality disorders don’t have innocent minds. They know exactly what they’re doing, even if it’s subconsciously to get their desires. They premeditate their social actions. Their actions are NOT based on a flight or fight response or heightened anxiety. In PDA they do not premeditate, things are quite spontaneous in the fact that anxiety makes them panic and they just socially screw up. I do feel that it is extremely important that there are clear distinctions made regarding each condition I’ve mentioned in this paragraph using people who have the conditions to decipher what is and isn’t the correct label. I’m not an expert. I am using what I learned about Psychology during my GCSE’s to explain the above differences. I’ve met a lot of people with different mental conditions and these are the things I’ve observed. I have associates with personality disorders. I wouldn’t let them into my home (learned that lesson the hard way) because it’s all about them. Pure selfishness. And I know that PDA may look that way, but guilt also makes my behaviour issues worse. If I feel horrible about things I’ve done or said, then it triggers my ocd emailing etc. I’m not selfish. I am thinking about the other person who I may have upset if I mess up, but then I obsessively want to make it right and find it hard accepting that I can’t make it right sometimes.