I did something I’ve never managed to do before. I was resting because I’m very tired at the moment. I feel drained and really not able to settle at the same time. That is a contradiction in itself but it is exactly how I feel at the moment. I was that tired that I learned how to basically switch myself off. It was a lovely mental break. It’s like sleeping but you relax so much and make yourself think about absolutely nothing. It’s a lovely break from the little annoyances of life. I still have no energy though. I have a bad toe which is quite sore at the moment. It grows the nail inwards and I’ve tried to get the corner out but there is definitely something left in there due to how it feels. I’m used to it though because it comes and goes quite a lot. I got rid of it for a while and then it comes back more than ever. The soreness isn’t making me feel any better on top of the constant tiredness.
I slept all last night and most of yesterday (it’s midnight now). I shouldn’t still be tired. It could be depression. It could be that I feel heavy energies around me. That is why I disconnected myself today. It wasn’t for long, but I’ve never been able to even master it before. I need a break. It is hell feeling everything lingering around me in energy forms. It’s carried around by other humans. They don’t probably don’t even know that they are walking around with that kind of energy attached to them. They’ve attracted it by the actions of their past. Those that don’t believe in the spiritual stuff are the worse to have around you because they stagnate in their negative energies which is draining for those of us that can feel them. The Autism world especially has a lot of negative energy within it which individuals have picked up due to their experiences. I managed to clear mine while I was in prison despite the kinds of energies that were floating around the wings and other areas.
I get out here and it’s harder to bounce off the negative energies. That doesn’t make sense. It should be the other way around. Unless others are thinking negatively about me, is the only explanation which possibly explains the heavy weight that I feel on top of me constantly. This has been unbearable for the last week. I feel like negative energies around me are trying to crush me. I’m not mentally ill. I’m perfectly sane, just really tired to the point of being drained of energy constantly.