Forced Adoption: Updates from London. Please share this blog post.

Please click on the video links to view videos from the forced adoption protest in London….

These are just some of the highlights I’ve compiled on here to promote the message of why these parents of forcibly adopted children are in London protesting and telling their stories. I would love to be there myself but financially I cannot afford to get to London at this moment in time. Plus, the community payback and probation days I have to commit to means I cannot go travelling around the country. I’d rather be in one place right now while I have the commitments which I have to do otherwise I get breached. I’m there with you all in spirit and everyone knows that I don’t stop telling my story, this is despite being told by my own barrister that if I spoke about my son’s forced adoption (adoption via a court without parental consent in the ‘best interests of the child’ – this is written in quotation marks for a reason because this is all that social services need to quote in order to get care, placement and adoption orders).

In one of these videos, the Grandma states that her statement was not entered into the bundle. This is a common occurrence in all cases of ‘forced’ adoption. In my case, all the paperwork I had previously submitted to my solicitor which supported my son not being adopted or in care ‘disappeared’ when it came to the final hearing. If social services want your child (mostly under 5’s) for adoption, this is the tactic that they use. In all legal cases, the paperwork for the bundle must be shared between the parties so that each party can refer easily to the paragraph of evidence they’re describing to the court. Family court is classed as Civil Law, but it can never be described as CIVIL in the meaning of the word. The social workers involved from local authorities, alongside their solicitors work together so that the parents don’t have a hope in hell’s chance of stopping their children be taken. The local authorities legal department are the ones that finally compile the bundle and send it to the other parties involved. That is bias because this explains why all the paperwork is ‘lost’ which is supportive of the parents. It’s a set up. I had the most perfect baby boy who was blond haired with blue eyes. They are attractive to adopters because they’re marketed as the ‘perfect addition to an adoptive family’.

Both child services and adult services within the local authorities are letting the vulnerable of this country down. I live completely without their so called help now because I actually feel safer without the interference of social care. I’ve found probation services more helpful than anything the local authority have offered me. I at least got to go on groups and try to learn the social skills that I lack due to my form of Autism. I may not succeed completely, but they offered me more than the local authority has ever done.

We are in crisis in the social care system. There is far too much focus on money and ‘targets’ than helping people. Social Services was originally designed to give assistance to the most vulnerable of our society. Due to lack of funding in the right areas and the amount of money which changes hands during the care and adoption process, this is no longer happening. They have actually become counterproductive and making our society worse. The rise of mental health issues amongst the population is most likely linked to the way that they work. There are many children out there which will NEVER get to meet their parents because in the heartbreak of the adoption process, many parents have committed suicide. They couldn’t take the emotional pain of what had been done to them.

I’ve been there. I felt it and I know how much it can destroy a person. I will never be the same person as I was before my son was forcibly removed and adopted against my wishes. I will remain broken for the rest of my life. There will always be that void there where I feel that a chunk of my life is missing. I will never feel whole again emotionally. It is something that isn’t easy to get over. It gets less painful as time goes by, but there are times when I still cry about the whole thing. I can’t even have a proper relationship with my cousin that I was close to growing up now because one of her children is the same age as my son would be now. It’s the constant painful reminder that is always there if I see her. I haven’t even met her youngest child because it hurts to visit or see them. I hate being that way but it’s just too painful emotionally to be around other people’s children. I wanted my son very much.

He was a wanted child and I NEVER want him to think that I willingly gave him up. Those that knew me back then are aware that I fought until the very last moment to stop his adoption. I was torn apart but I still went into that court and represented myself due to legal aid not being available after the care and placement orders had been made. I didn’t let him go without one hell of a fight with the local authority. That is why I don’t get letter box contact because they knew that I was firmly opposed to their plans for his adoption. I was never going to back down because this was the same local authority that damaged me as a child. As far as I was concerned, it was like trying to take him out of a sharks mouth. That is what being in the system is like. The system didn’t help me. As a youngster, it actually destroyed me. It made me unable to trust another human being or let them in my space without getting petrified and doing something subconsciously to make sure I pushed them as far away as possible.

I’m only now getting others to believe in me. That’s taken a lot of work. I literally left school with no qualifications whatsoever because of the system that failed me. I have now just about finished all the GCSE’s that I need to get on an Access course and then onto a degree after that. I was told as a child that I’d never be academic (eg. be able to gain passes in qualifications), but I have defied their expectations and now I have an English GCSE C, Biology IGCSE C, Psychology GCSE C, Sociology GCSE B and Law GCSE B and Level 2 Maths (just have to take the GCSE now). I think those are excellent grades for someone who barely went to school because the system refused me a diagnosis which resulted in me constantly being excluded, sent home or expelled. I have basically had to fill in the gaps myself by being self disciplined enough to focus on studying bits I know that I’m weak in so that I got decent grades.

Only now am I actually being taken seriously because I’ve worked myself into the ground attempting to prove myself. I haven’t stopped in the last 4 years gaining the qualifications which I should have got at school. I’ve also worked on myself, even though I’ve had a few major blips along the way. I cannot be perfect and relapses after what I went through with my son’s adoption was virtually impossible to avoid. However, I’m a stronger person now for those experiences. I’m no longer broken beyond repair, the pieces are now glued back together because I have started to heal emotionally from all the things I’ve experienced. 

One thought on “Forced Adoption: Updates from London. Please share this blog post.

  1. Social workers… ugh. Though some are good and decent people, way too many are simply evil personified. I don’t know if they become like that or if the job simply too often attracts the wrong people (I’ve seen some evidence this may be the case, at least from personal experience) but there’s certainly a problem where a good number misuse their almost Godlike power to harm people simply “because I can”. And because their victims can do nothing to stop them, and because these social workers basically fail at life so they have to ruin somebody else’s. What you say about the deliberate undermining of court hearings… shocked is probably the wrong words as that implies surprise, but angered that this is allowed to happen with no consequences and no accountability.

    Anyway. Well done getting your exam results. 🙂 Often not an easy task for those of us with ASD and other difficulties. I mean you can clearly write and creativity is something that can’t be taught and can’t be purchased, but those magic bits of paper will still open doors for you.


Comments are closed.