I feel drained in a positive way.

I’m worn out today because I literally haven’t stopped all day. It’s not that horrible tired that you get when you’ve sat around or done barely anything. It’s positive and I’m certainly going to sleep tonight. I’m not really pleased with the thing I have to do for community service, however, the alternative if this placement doesn’t work out is much worse. I’m only on the placement I got assigned to because of my locality. I don’t live in the city like the others at our induction. I don’t think someone as small built as me would be able to do the manual labour that the other group placed in the city have to do. The majority of the machinery used is larger than me. I could manage the litter picking they had to do in the city group, but nothing else. I’m literally too small to pick up the heavy machinery.

I’m just going to find my placement quite boring. But, it’s community payback. It’s not suppose to be an enjoyable experience. I’ll be more relaxed about the whole thing when I actually start because I have no idea what to expect yet. I’ve been honest about my Asperger side and luckily the person who interviewed me had a child with Autism. It’s always helpful when the person you’re disclosing it to actually has a relative with it because there’s less explaining involved. I have already been warned that I can’t be more than 10 minutes late otherwise I get told to go home and if I do that twice or more I’ve breached my order. I really hope that my depression doesn’t decide to get severe on the day I am set to volunteer. I find it so hard to get up in the morning when it’s at it’s worse. Depression is absolutely no excuse to the Criminal Justice System not to turn up for Community Service. It won’t be a valid excuse if I miss days or can’t get up in time to get there. I’m not allowed to leave for 7 hours so I have to take my own lunch in with me. I might just drink tea all day to fill me up as I don’t really like eating a lot during the day. I am quite apprehensive right now about the whole thing.