Hello all! I’m back now. I’m already aware that people knew where I was because I’ve been informed by family members. I got out on an appeal after a month and I can truly, honestly say that after the experience (that I’m not going to put here because it has become apparently clear that everyone knew the outcome that day by what I’ve been told), I’m NEVER going to breaking the law in any shape or form again. That includes the orders I am never going to be happy about, however, I’m just going to have to accept that sometimes you have to let others have their own way.
I don’t want any conflict with anyone else. I’m glad to be free and now I appreciate what I had on the outside more. I’ve become a more grateful person because I know that there is places you can end up which are like a living hell. I just want to get on with my life and never be in trouble again. I don’t want to go into details here because I don’t want to trigger anything else. However, what I will say, is that I’ve come out a completely different person. I’m more mature and considering of others since that experience. I really learned about people. It wasn’t all positive in that environment. I feel like that awful experience which has happened helped me understand people more in general.
I am just going to say one more thing though. NEVER believe what you read in the papers. I have looked some people up that I met in there which have been reported in newspapers. Believe me, innocent mistakes are sensationalised and twisted. It’s not the truth. I feel things off of people. I made a good friend there who looked after me. I read the crap that the newspapers said when I googled their name after I got out. They aren’t like the newspapers. Yes, some of the facts may be true. But, not as they’ve been reported. People make mistakes out of ignorance and other people screwing them over. I have spoken to others ‘inside’ and I know fully how the media works. The energy of the person I met and absolutely adored is not what is described in the paper. I do not believe that they did what they were supposed to have admitted to on purpose. I feel that it was more out of ignorance and we all have busy lives.
I trained in media production. I’ve done some things I’m not proud of because I was short of money. I’m open about the fact that I don’t have a problem showing off my body for cash. I believe that if you have it, then you should flaunt it. Some people aren’t respectful of people who are cool with showing their flesh for cash, and those people can judge me however much they like, I do not care what they think. Many of the women that have made comments to me about me being determined to degrade myself for money (to be able to live while all these benefit changes) are jealous of my body. I was bullied at school for my looks and the bullies were NEVER attractive and always overweight. They looked at me and actually made me grow up hating my face because of the comments they made about it.
I believe it’s still like that in adult life. Others treat people the way they do or form an opinion based on jealousy. The only way you can deal with those people is keep away from them and ignore their ‘opinions’. Opinions are not facts. Even though newspapers seem to make a huge story out of the journalists opinion on whatever when they’re writing it. An opinion is always bias, a fact cannot be disputed but people rarely focus on facts because they’re so committed to their own beliefs. Only those that are intelligent can see the bigger picture. I use my own judgement. I go by other people’s energies and I don’t believe a word of the story I found online about the person who was like a ‘Prison Mother’ to me. I WON’T disclose who it is because they’re well known on the outside. I’m their friend and I wouldn’t do that to them. We’re within the same business (well, similar). I know exactly what that business can be like. It’s fickle and fake both on relationships and it’s so hard to have a private life. I never used to worry about having a private life as a younger person. But, I was young and stupid then.
Right now, I’m going to blog when I can (that won’t be every day because I don’t have my laptop or mobile back yet). I just wanted to say I’m back and available if anyone needs me. I had a mass of emails to get through (as well as facebook and twitter messages), but I will reply when I’m able to after I get my property back. I just need time out for a bit. I’m still working on an article for someone (I know that’s still working but it was arranged before I got sent to where I was). I’m very tired and need a rest, but at the same time I have a lot of things to sort out which are very important.
I really don’t want others to go down the same road as I have done. I just want to say that being locked up is awful. Your freedom is the greatest gift you’ll ever have, however, you won’t appreciate that unless someone takes that away. That happened to me. Please appreciate everything that you have in life. Everything is so much more precious than you think, especially freedom. I warn others that it was a horrible experience. Yes, I met some nice women there (not everyone in prison deserves to be there). However, the whole routine ‘inside’ is like being a caged animal. It drives you mad and your head just goes blank in there when you’re trying to remember things to do with the outside world. Try to avoid being incarcerated at all costs. I’m not encouraging people to run away if they’ve broken the law. I’m just saying hold your hands up if you are guilty of something and take any other punishments because being locked up is the worse.