I haven’t felt too well, which meant I have only just managed to draw up some form of letter for changing my ESA group from work to support related group. I am finding this challenging because I don’t like talking about the personal parts of my disability. There is also the fact that I find it very frustrating trying to justify my disability issues to the government. The annoying fact also is that the same government took my son away for adoption because of how my issues manifested. Life is challenging enough with PDA type Autism and learning disabilities, let alone contending with the UK government continually changing the goalposts.
One minute I’m too affected by my disability to have a child and other aspects of life. The next minute they’re denying that I have a disability and forcing me to go out to work, when it is quite obvious to everyone that knows me, I’m not fit enough to work mentally after everything that happened over the last 5 years (son’s adoption, legal issues, health flare ups due to the stress etc).
I get told that I’d be a good type of legal advocate if I didn’t take it personally. That is something which I find hard, especially when the DWP report basically out rightly accused me of not being affected enough by my disability. I live with my Autism and learning disabilities on a daily basis. I have NEVER had a proper stable relationship or even close friendship because others can’t deal with the negative parts of my disabilities. I’ve had so many negative experiences because of others not being able to handle my condition, that I do not trust anyone anymore. How am I suppose to ever work if others just don’t like me because of who I am and how I can’t do things which leads to them just wanting to get rid of me?
How is it fair to add to my trauma caused by rejection and humiliation by those types (in every work place) who will pick on any one that has a weakness. I’ve already lost enough due to the false reports in regards to my son which led to his adoption. As well as all the victims compensation and court costs I had to pay after I was the one that got victimised first. And, they’re still trying to victimise me because they’ve recently messaged the person who runs the arts project where I volunteer online making out that I had been sending them hostile messages from the account that I use there. I know that I haven’t done what I’ve been accused of doing and I have made that clear to my manager at the art project.
I have yet to go through the evidence from the DWP which is going into the tribunal (when I finally get a date). I will send over my statement asap to try to get it moving. That task will be far more complex and emotionally frustrating/stressful for me than writing the letter to try to change from the work to the support group of ESA. I have completed my ESA group change request letter now and that is ready to go off. What I am about to post (using my own financial information to help others experiencing issues with the Employment and Support Allowance benefit). I’m only showing you the actual breakdown of my financial incomings and outgoings and how I’m trying to illustrate to them using undeniable written evidence broken up in such a way that it proves my point. As you can see (sorry it isn’t all clear but the lighting in here isn’t great), I have broken the evidence down at every single stage. This is exactly what you have to do when dealing with systems like the DWP or in fact any government officials. I have even split up the fact that the fine (victims compensation) I’m still paying (which should have been paid back in December due to a court mix up) is adding more financial difficulties.
Now it’s time for me to get onto the other part for the tribunal which is more complex because I have to refer to parts of the evidence (bundle page numbers etc) within my statement. I have a highlighter and am about to highlight any points I do not agree with or have an argument to raise about. Therefore, it will be easier when I go through the paperwork to pick those parts out.