Em – 1, Social Anxiety – 0

As the Fifa world cup is one of the events currently going on, this gave me the title for this entry because that is along the lines of how I’m feeling. Those that know me will be well aware that I haven’t been out in any social capacity for at least 2 years.

I was invited to the local community centre when I went to ask CAB something down there the other day. I was given leaflets so I thought that I’d go along as a starting point for myself. I can’t do a lot yet because of how my social anxiety is severe due to things that have happened. I’m the kind of person that will try their hands at anything. It was knitting today. I was very unable to do things like that as a child when I was showed by relatives. I was shown by one of the older ladies how to do it. I’m really not great at sewing (all my garments I ‘mend’ seem to fall apart again). Therefore, I was not thinking I’d get the hang of it whatsoever. I’m not the most domesticated type female. Surprisingly, I did get the hang of it, despite a few, mistakes when I got carried away and proceeded to double stitch into it (which tied it in knots or created holes). I got to take it home to practice before next week. I’m no where near the stage of making any wool garments but that takes practice. The older women have been doing it for years and they still make mistakes that result in them having to undo everything. I’m quite fast at the knitting considering I’m a beginning who previously tried it as a youngster and just couldn’t fathom it out.

It is so easy to loop the wrong way when I go into auto mode. I got a little over confident and started not concentrating which resulted in a few loops and stitches going the wrong direction. I’ve always thought of knitting as an older person’s hobby. It’s quite relaxing though. I felt so chilled out once the stress of trying to fathom it out was over. The faster I knitted, the more chilled I felt. I’m sure that I’ll be knitting at least a scarf in no time. I’ve always been creative with colours. I’m going to do that when it comes to knitting a scarf or something small. I’m just going for practice in the early days. The groups are only on until the school holidays because they’re term time only. It’s doubtful that I’m going to be good enough to make anything in a month.

I still need to catch up with my friend I met in jewellery classes to discuss ideas about jewellery designs that we could make and sell via an online shop. We briefly discussed it but they were busy with work and I was busy trying to pass exams. I said that I would catch up with them at the end of July after my exams are over. I’ve also now decided to write a book so I’m going to have to space everything out during the Summer break in order to be able to get a lot done. Then hopefully (providing I pass my level 2 maths) I will be going to retake my Maths GCSE in September. That’s if the place wants me there anymore. I’m just used to people not wanting me so much that I just expect them to ask me to leave. I’m really hoping that they have daytime classes for GCSE Maths because I don’t want to do it in the evenings. I don’t like going into the city town centre at that time of night. I’m expecting to be told to get out because I’m annoying.