I was watching Coronation Street this evening. Those that watch it will know that recently there has been a psychic arrive on the street conning people. She was fed information by a well known con man that had been on the street previously which made her appear like she was able to pick details up. I’m not a medium type psychic. I’ve never been able to communicate with the dead. Okay, they’ve visited me (eg. that black shadow thing and the odd other spirit waking me up at night). I probably could develop it if I felt the confidence to work with the unknown. I’m just not keen on being linked with spirits on a regular basis. I find those that are living hard enough to deal with, let alone those that have passed over coming to bug me. I can however just pick things up without knowing why something has just popped into my head or I’ve had a certain dream etc. I’ve dreamed things that have happened way too many times to convince myself that it is merely coincidental.
I just find the fakes just doing it to make a ton of money out of gullible desperate people in situations where they see no hope. And the amount of acting they put on is also completely irritating too. I was conned out of all my medical compensation money through the period of losing my son to adoption. And then through the university situation. Those of us with the real ‘gift’ don’t feel comfortable charging for our services. I did charge for a while but I felt terrible and really wrong for charging for something I could naturally do. I didn’t charge a lot for readings but I still felt like I wasn’t given what I could do to ask for payment. I’d rather know that I’ve provided someone comfort by telling them information they wanted to know in order to put their mind at rest in life. I feel wrong charging to give someone the feeling of a weight being lifted from them. That makes me feel better than charging them for the privilege. It’s extremely annoying that I can’t do it for myself because I’d love a lot of answers to questions I’ve got which bug me. I pick random things up but it’s only random snippets that simply do not make sense.
I can’t piece the information together to ensure that I feel comfort. I do believe that life will show me those answers when the time is right. If I’m not meant to know then I will not pick things up. I’ve had some very random dreams over the last couple of days (when I have managed to get some sleep) and I can’t remember enough details. I sometimes remember them extremely well. But, these ones have just gone right out of my head straight away. I have some dreams regularly that are reoccurring. There is one that really stands out which I’ve had a few times over a few years or more. The setting is my primary school’s yard. But it’s messed up in regards to time because those I met after primary school are in the school’s yard. I haven’t had it for a while so I can’t remember that much detail but that is a setting I’ve seen several times in my dreams.
The fakes make the genuine people, like myself, be seen as crazy or that none of what we experience or believe doesn’t exist. Personally, I cannot believe in God because of all the things that go on in this world. There is so much more out there that we don’t understand or even know. Others simply cannot say that the things we believe in or can do isn’t real. Those that throw science in our face are extremely irritating. Science doesn’t explain everything. There are many aspects of our existence that cannot be explained by science. I don’t want what I can do or what I believe in to be a reason why people won’t take my views seriously. I assure you that I am not crazy. I’ve had my times of breakdown but now I have got my head together and improving my intelligence. That is always going to be harder and take me longer than others due to my learning disabilities. I have the determination to over come those issues though to succeed in life.