Things I don’t understand and things others don’t understand. But, I need to know why I’m feeling certain things.

I apologise in advance that this is all going to sound a bit weird to some people. Those that do not believe in this stuff are going to think I’m a bit crazy. I’ve always been an open minded person. It has got me into trouble at times though because I have been rather naïve. I’ve suffered for my naïve nature over the years. Regular readers will know that I have been seeing triple and double repeated numbers (e.g 777 and 1414 etc) for a few years now. I’ve also started having the most horrible nightmares recently. I thought that it was PTSD but they aren’t always about my unpleasant life experiences.

This morning I dozed off before getting up and had a really odd dream. I thought I was awake but I actually wasn’t. I was in my bedroom like I was laying there awake (which is why I thought I was awake not asleep). I heard a loud car engine which I thought sounded like it had driven right up to my window. Then there was a bang and I woke up shaking. I was totally confused as to whether I was awake or asleep because I was literally in the same setting in both reality and the dream. I realised it was a dream because the cat was asleep next to me and if there had been noise then she would have disappeared because they do that even when someone rings the door buzzer.

I’ve had many strange dreams since mid last year. I’m sure that there is something in it. I am aware that some of them must be PTSD related because they are things from my past. However, some of them are very short snippets of things that isn’t related to my life. It’s bugging me now and I really want to figure out what this is all about. I’m sure that the numbers are connected because I have more of these dreams when I go through periods of seeing those types of numbers above. I didn’t see numbers hardly or dream much in 2 months. It’s now got very strong again. Things haven’t been this strong since February. That was also about the same time I woke up to see a fat woman in my hallway and a males face on my pillow.

I can’t go to mental health professionals with this because I’ll get called mad. I know that I’m completely sane. I can prove that I am sane. I’m not losing my mind and I’ve always had these kinds of abilities. I didn’t even want to believe in these things at first. However, I have picked things up in dreams etc that have happened. I therefore must have some kind of ‘gift’. I wouldn’t call it a gift though. I just wish that I could understand why I have these dreams and see the numbers.

I’ve only been seeing these numbers for nearly 3 years. The dreams only started occurring mid last year. I’ve read a lot of things in the area of past lives etc. I’m quite sure that this is the route of the dreams. If my life was taken in my past life then this may explain why I’ve always been restless and all over the place in this existence. I’m sure that my experiences of my past life wasn’t pleasant if my dreams are replays of those times. It is extremely unusual for people to remember their previous lives. However, there are reasons that people have dreamed parts of them. The karma from their previous lives are being known in this life for a reason. Even if I am seeing parts of a previous life, I probably will only get snippets rather than the whole picture. We aren’t allowed to know everything because it doesn’t work that way.

I would just really want to know more and the reason why I’m seeing the numbers. It can be extremely irritating when I am woken up by one of these dreams and I can’t get back to sleep because it’s scared me so much. I always wake up panicky and shaky. They must always be scary dark dreams because I don’t get scared easily. I have always been so chilled when it’s come to things that other people find frightening. I was into Wicca etc since I was 13 years old. I was quite stupid back then though because I never thought about my safety. The rule of casting a circle before doing spell or ritual work went right out the window. I would never cast a circle. I wouldn’t be surprised if dark spirits got into me because I didn’t even bother protecting myself.

I’m more careful now. I’ve got a lot of things in my flat that I use to protect myself from spiritual attacks. It also protects my home as well as me as an individual. The negative energies from spirits around us feed on weak people who have experienced tragedy in their lives. The likes of that black shadow figure that used to wake me up hasn’t messed with me again since I told it to go or I would send it back to hell. It obviously doesn’t want to get sent back to where it escaped from back when my mother and her friends let it out many years ago via the Ouija board. I used to be scared of these things. But, if you act timid they will be attracted to hanging around you. I barely get things visiting me at night when I’m trying to sleep now. I used to get woken up regularly by that dark figure and random other things. I made it quite plain that I refuse to played with while I’m trying to sleep. They think it’s fun to wake the living up and shake them (as the dark figure I told to f off used to do). You have to make sure that anything that does that ends up fearing you so it won’t pull those stunts again. It took me many years to stand up to it but I hated being woken up by it so much that one day I just told it where to go. Things have been a lot better since. The last time I got woken up by anything spirit like was February time and I made it clear that they weren’t welcome either.

It’s harder to turn off the dreams and seeing the repeated numbers because there is obviously a reason why I’m seeing them. I don’t know why but I wouldn’t see them for nothing. I just wish I could find out the answers without people thinking I’m crazy.