Migraine returned :( … fed up being ill all the time.

I’m beyond fed up with migraines etc. I thought I was getting better so I did my exercises and went for a two hour walk earlier. Then my migraine comes back. It isn’ as bad as the one I had earlier in the week and the ache is the other side of my head this time. I’m getting fed up of being ill all the time. I just want to be free of migraines and hormonal issues. They make my autism side harder to manage. I have to concentrate very hard to mask my autism side and fake normal. When I have a migraine or hormone issues I can’t do that. This week has been an exception because I have been feeling ill all week. I don’t normally get more than one migraine a week.

I am not even stressed. I’m more chilled out than I have been in recent years.  I don’t see the point in stressing about things I can’t change because it only makes things ten times worse. I used to over care about things. Now I am the opposite. I made mistakes when I over cared. I prefer being rather unenthusiastic about everything and everyone because I cannot ruin things by being overly keen then.

I really wish that this migraine would go away. I have had some very weird dreams this week too. They all seem cryptic like they’re giving me information in symbolism and it’s up to me to code it together. It could also just be illness giving me these types of dreams. I just don’t understand them right now. I feel like they mean something but I can’t prove it. I also saw the number 1111 yesterday and 111 this morning. That doesn’t normally happen together. I do believe there’s something in the numbers I’ve been seeing for about 3 years but I don’t know the reasoning behind them yet. I’ve read things about spiritual awakening. I have felt very different more recently. I thought that this was just down to maturing as I aged.