‘Everything happens for a reason’. I run through my artistic pursuits of the last 18 months… to try to make myself feel better about current circumstances.

I’m really feeling sad tonight. I can’t see how everything I’ve been through has happened for a reason. I’m distraught over all the horrible things that have happened in my life. I have never felt traumatised this much in my entire life. I literally have to take painkillers and diazepam (which I’ve had to buy… Read More ‘Everything happens for a reason’. I run through my artistic pursuits of the last 18 months… to try to make myself feel better about current circumstances.

Things can’t stay as they are any more. This is very important.

I have absolutely no desire to upset anyone else here but I simply can’t function in regards to how things are anymore. I am distressed and extremely anxious on a daily basis because of how things remain. Also, the things that were said to me by those that didn’t understand my disability has absolutely ripped… Read More Things can’t stay as they are any more. This is very important.

I don’t feel well tonight / a warning about challenging dark energy (which you think might be bringing bad luck). And finally a bit of science behind anti depressants.

I haven’t really been awake a lot today because I feel rather ill. It’s just the normal monthly crap as well as an added stomach upset. These can happen together anyway. There are many symptoms hormones can give you and they vary. I have quite severe stomach ache still but I think the worse of… Read More I don’t feel well tonight / a warning about challenging dark energy (which you think might be bringing bad luck). And finally a bit of science behind anti depressants.

This is the depth of how naïve I’ve been the whole of my life so far. Introducing….

I learned something today while listening to a radio show on the way home from somewhere in the car. This illustrates how naïve I actually am because I didn’t have a clue that other women thought this way. As someone who wasn’t popular at school or even in their group of hangers on, I didn’t… Read More This is the depth of how naïve I’ve been the whole of my life so far. Introducing….

So much to do, so little enthusiasm to do it… the weather doesn’t help. Reoccurring thoughts causing me mental illness.

I do like the hot weather because it’s a lot better than what we normally get but I feel unproductive enough as it is without contending against this heat. I should have done a few things but I didn’t get the chance because I took two dosages of diazepam and knocked myself out for a… Read More So much to do, so little enthusiasm to do it… the weather doesn’t help. Reoccurring thoughts causing me mental illness.

Random dreams, Being younger than my age and a warning about using Diazepam.

I took some Diazepam last night to finally get some proper sleep. I doubled the dosage because I was that desperate to sleep. I later regretted that because it literally knocked me out all day. It’s not something I’d recommend people doing even if they are absolutely are desperate for sleep. I woke up feeling… Read More Random dreams, Being younger than my age and a warning about using Diazepam.