The last 24 hours have been horrible.

I’ve finally recovered from my migraine. I woke up with it this morning. It wasn’t as severe as last night when the pain was pulsating through my head though. I drank a whole glass of water before I went to sleep because it helps to get rid of the migraines I keep getting. That worked a bit because it dulled the pain but I didn’t get a settled night sleep as I kept having to get up to the toilet. That’s always a problem when you drink lots of water before going to bed to get rid of a headache. There is no way that you get a settled night because what goes in has to come out. I woke up 4 times last night needing the toilet. I even drove my cat mad who was trying to sleep on my bed next to me. I kept waking him up every time I had to get up.

I still don’t feel right since I got rid of my migraine. I still feel off in some respects. I can’t even describe how I feel in words very easily. I just kind of feel flat and lack motivation to do anything. I didn’t even go for a walk today. I don’t think hormones are helping because I’m so sweaty at the moment. It’s hot anyway. But now it’s cooled down I’m even sweaty. I felt like I was going to be sick with that migraine last night. I don’t get that bad very often. I’ve been sick with them at very stressful times in my life but right now I’m staying away from everyone and having some alone time. That doesn’t cause me stress. I only get stressed around people because that is when my PDA really flairs up.

And while we’re on the subject of PDA, I’ve been sent a book that has just been released which has been written by those with the PDA form of Autism. I got the book for free on the proviso that I write a review on my blog after I’ve read it. I’ve only glanced at it because I’ve been doing some of my Maths homework tonight. I desperately need to also tidy my flat and clean up because it’s one hell of a mess in here.  I really need to clean it before my cousin and her children come over for a visit later on this week. Therefore, I most probably won’t get round to reading it yet.

I’m hoping that I will wake up feeling better tomorrow. I haven’t felt back to normal all day yet. I know my health problems are getting worse. And, as much as I really do want the chance to work, I just don’t think I’d be able to stick a job without getting extremely ill. Either ending up in a meltdown or physically in a state like I was last night. I can do things in short bursts but if I overdo it then I severely get affected. I just want a normal life but it’s going to take someone really understanding to be with me if I ever do have a relationship or even get married (not that I have any desire to get married at this point of my life or at any point really). The person I end up with will have to understand that after all I’ve been through, I cannot trust anyone. I don’t want anyone to take my lack of trust towards them personally. It will take a long time to ever build trust with another person again. I’m not in the right mind-set right now. Right now, I’m too afraid of people and need to be on my own quite a lot. 

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