I tried my best today through a haze of exhaustion. Also I go into the sectioning process of mentally ill offenders.

I have literally been battling exhaustion all day. I’ve just got home after appointment and the Gym (because I was passing the door and really needed to use my membership, but I only spent an hour there). I got sent on a wild goose chase trying to get a key cut as a spare for my car because the spare got lost a few years ago and I keep getting nagged by my Mother to get a new one in case I lose my keys. Although I haven’t lost them yet I know what I’m like for misplacing things. If I lost those keys it would be a huge hassle and expense to get another. However, I was quoted £141 to £181 depending if they had to apply for the keys code from the manufacturer. We only wanted a spare non electronic key, but apparently that isn’t able to be done. Something that could be so simple and not expensive, but Vauxhall doesn’t allow their keys to be cut as they normally give the car to the owners with a spare key (the one we originally had).

I may be female but I’m not paying those prices if I can find any other option. I simple cannot justify paying that much for a spare key. I’m going to have a look around before I commit to anything. If I knew I’d definitely be careful with my keys then I’d consider not having a spare key, but part of my exhaustion also affects my memory which results in me mislaying things.

I’ve heard some news while I was down the local town. Thankfully (although right now they probably are cursing everyone), the person who pulled a frightening stunt in my flat the other week has been placed under a section. I can at least relax a little bit knowing that they’re a) getting the help they need because they were noticeably extremely mentally ill; b) I no longer have to worry about them dropping in unannounced like the other night. I care a lot about others and I certainly wouldn’t have mentioned it to someone if I didn’t fully feel that another person was actually a danger to themselves and/or others. I felt sorry for them because I’ve been where they are myself. I went completely off of the rails and everyone was telling me that I was a bit nuts but I couldn’t see it. I wasn’t severe enough to be sectioned (you have meet a very high threshold to be put under a mental health section). That is why I was put on a hospital order as a teenager because I wasn’t severe enough to be put on a medical type section without going via a court. I wasn’t allowed to plead not guilty by reason of insanity as a teenager because they told me I wouldn’t get the help I needed and my case was committed to Crown Court due to complexities. There isn’t an option to plead not guilty by reason of insanity at that level.

It makes a mockery of things when you can plead insanity but not get sectioned because of a non guilty plea. It’s putting people through so much that they don’t need to be put through. A case can take over a year to be actually heard in a higher court if the offence is sent there by magistrates (Triable either-way offence or an indictable offence). If the mentally ill defendant is remanded in custody then they’re put in prison while waiting for their case to be heard. That environment isn’t going to be a positive influence on their already poor mental health.

I know that those psychiatric unit places aren’t pleasant but I knew that I had absolutely no option. I knew how to put things to an official person without criminal charges being placed on a person. I wanted this other person to get the help they needed rather than another criminal charge because over the last few years I know how that feels. I was let down but it doesn’t mean I have to let another person down. Those of us that have been involved in the system for years know how broken the ‘help’ or ‘support’ services can be.

After reading posts in a PDA group earlier. I have decided that I am going to request my notes under the FOI (freedom of information) request process. I am already aware of some lies that have been in documents that I have seen during my son’s care case. I had to obtain them all because of fighting my son’s adoption. Others are finding a hell of a lot of lies written on the system about them. I really do not want to see those things because the things I have already seen has upset me. I need to know because legally challenging any lies are the only way I may be able to have a life. I need to challenge the lies before having any more children otherwise they can just walk in and take any subsequent children on questionable information. I also don’t know who is accessing these documents on me. I need to sort it out even though I’m very reluctant to do so.

If I find anything I am going to take legal action. Even if I have to write a few books to get the money together, that is what I will do. I have some legal training in the area of Tort now because it was part of my GCSE. I’m brave enough to raise a claim against anyone who is responsible for notes consisting of lies. I know it’s been done because another woman had similar experiences to me within the system and she successfully sued them as well as ordering them to get rid of the notes. That woman had children removed from her and placed for adoption due to lies which had been put on the system. They may not even be intentional lies, but things get recorded wrongly and have even been known to be recorded onto the wrong person’s file on occasions. When I used to go to my appointments at the forensic mental health service they literally always used to have the wrong contact details for me in front of them. If they aren’t even able to get addresses and contact numbers right, then what does that say for their actual recording of notes going in the right files. 

Anyway, I’m logging off now. I probably won’t be online a lot today because I’m not feeling too great after fighting exhaustion all day. In all honesty, I know that I’m boring, but I just want to sleep.