I’m too wound up to sleep.

I can’t sleep because I’m so wound up at this moment in time. I’m probably going to be failing my exam due to tiredness in a few hours time. This subject and everything that has happened is not doing me any good. I’m being constantly reminded of things that have hurt me.

I don’t see why I was so undeserving to be helped when I later find out that the other person that got me into trouble has helped everyone else. It isn’ fair. I am not the abuser. I retaliated to system abuse. These facts are going to continue to drive me mad because I can’ get answers to why I seem to be be so undeserving of help that I got treated and am continuing to be treated in the way that I have been. The other person has ruined my life and they can’t even see that. They make out that they’re so wonderful to others and that I deserved to be let down and treated awfully.

That isn’t the truth whatsoever. I’m beyond hurt by this issue. I am slowly being destroyed by it. They’ve only backed the system up in regards to the way they’ve always bullied me. I deserved to be believed and supported. I’m not an awful person at all and I wish that people could see that.