I have never been like this in my entire life. I don’t normally get so freaked out. I just can’t settle after last night. I don’t understand why I’m like this because I don’t see mentally ill behaviour as scary normally. I can still feel myself shaking and I don’t normally do that. I weren’t even shaky at the time everything kicked off last night. I acted very calm and dealt with it. I had to because I had to drive etc to get the person away from my flat. I can’t let anxiety get the better of me when I’m driving because it can make me have to stop the car. I did what I had to do and never really felt anything until I woke up this morning.
I woke up feeling like I was too terrified to get out of bed. I lay there for a few hours until I finally got out of bed and felt extremely shaky. I’ve felt off all day. I can’t revise because I am too anxious to do it. Maybe I had to have this experience because I finally now see how others see mental health issues (like my OCD) as frightening. I’ve never been able to see danger and that is a common thing with Autism. I now see how frightening it is because I now see the dangers as I’m getting older. That could have so easily have ended extremely badly last night. I haven’t been able to settle all day.
Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert Blog 