Whether you are lighting it up blue or wearing purple today for Autism Awareness Day/Month. They both coincide in April, even though the last week was also supposedly Autism Awareness week too (well, here in the UK). I didn’t post much in regards to that because I know that we literally have such a large window of Autism Awareness dates on the calendar and I am quite busy at this moment in time. I’ve just finished studying so my brain is a bit mushy. The entry I had planned tonight flowed well in my head when I was planning it in between trying to learn things for exams earlier. I’m way too tired to think straight. I’m putting a lot of hours into trying to learn everything for my exams coming up but it doesn’t seem to be sticking in my head. I’m trying to read bits of my book per day up until the exam and focus on learning definitions which will at least guarantee me some marks.
Law was always going to be a difficult subject to study because even at GCSE level it’s very complex with so many things to remember. I need it though as it gives me the foundations to go into areas I wish to explore and in this modern world you have to be qualified or officially knowledgeable in order to push your way into anything. I’m going through the crimes in criminal law at the moment, the defences and definitions at the moment. I still can’t get into my head to remember the qualifications for solicitors and barristers, but it is a question which could potentially come up in the unit 1 paper. I’m revising things that will come up unit 2 at the moment but on both papers you need to know these things because of scenario questions at the end of the paper. I hope that if I keep flicking between Unit 1 and Unit 2 revision areas that I’ll start to absorb enough information to secure at least a C. I’ve just looked at last years grade boundaries for the GCSE law and the marks needed to get a C are 56 on Unit 1 and 60 on Unit 2. The maximum marks available in each paper is 90.
In regards to Autism awareness and acceptance. I am hoping that things progress to more understanding. I have been through awful things, and so have others on the spectrum because of the lack of understanding. Every time I’ve tried to get others to see how I’ve been treated they have turned against me and punished me. I got a lot of awful things written about me because I tried to stand up to the ‘system’ as a teenager. I even got sectioned to ‘get rid of me’. They knew that I wouldn’t stop digging things up that they were doing wrong. The bit that hurts me the most though, that haunts me to this day is something that happened in a cell when I was a teenager. I got very distressed due to my autism and ended up going into a meltdown. This was just before they ‘sent me away’. The female police officer that had been lining me up to enter the criminal justice system and diverting me away from the help/support system since I was in secondary school was horrendous to me, I think I remember her calling me a nutter or something along those lines. That wasn’t the worse part of it though. She then goes up to a group of police officers outside my cell and started making fun of me. I heard every single word of what she said.
She’s done it to me since I got back but not in the capacity of a police officer because she has since retired (however, I hear that she works for the CPS and Council). I went passed her when she was doing council business with a group of people and took the piss out of me again saying things to them as I walked passed them. I hear and see everything. That is part of my Autism. It’s legalised bullying and I know that she knows many many people around the locality because of her roles in the local community. I know that she set me up to be labelled a criminal because I found things in my notes where she basically told the support services that I was ‘too dangerous’ and should be referred to the police every time I experience difficulties rather than get the support I rightfully deserved. This is why no one would diagnose me until my Dad got the MP involved. Then I found out about the target system and as I was quite vocal about it, I definitely got targeted because they wanted me ‘out of the way’. I’m sure that there is more that I haven’t found out. I wish that others would believe me when I try to tell them and make them listen to me that I was set up as a youngster and professionals bullied me on purpose because they could.
I am asking for the bullying to stop. Now that people are aware of Autism more than they were when I was growing up (I’m 30 now). I don’t want to be bullied or misjudged for who I am anymore. I have only ever kicked off and said awful things when I haven’t been listened to. I wish that just one person would listen to me and not follow suite with the criminalisation that I didn’t deserve. I made my mistakes because I didn’t know any better. I never got the help because people were never giving me the appropriate support throughout my life. I was the kid that no one wanted to get to know properly, so I got labelled and misunderstood. I have tried to tell people who I really am and many other things, but it’s like I’m a non-person because I’m an individual with an intellectual disability. In law that means you’re not the ‘reasonable person’, therefore you or your opinion/point of view or anything you’re trying to explain to another person can be legally dismissed.
And, ending on a positive note, I’ve lost some more weight. I’m now 10 stone 2lbs 🙂