A bit better…

I managed a full nights sleep last night. However, I only went bed at 11pm because I was literally falling asleep on the sofa. That is really early for me. I never sleep before midnight normally. I just ended up that worn out because last week was quite long. I got up today still feeling slightly tired. Let’s face it, for a very long time I’ve always not slept at night properly. I will never catch up with the amount of sleep that I’ve lost.

I am aware that many people normally rest at the weekend. I used to like to do that. However, that isn’t me anymore. I got up to go to get my weekly food items (groceries) on foot. Baring in mind I walked to the store that is 2.6 miles from my flat and in total that is a 5.2 mile walk round trip. It is just like carrying weights with you if you’ve got shopping bags in your hands. I must have walked about 6 miles the other day, so this is nothing. I have tried to convert these things but all I can honestly say is that it feels longer than the actual miles. I honestly should be a size 6 by now with how much effort I’ve been putting in to lose weight. I am mostly snacking on yogurts when I feel hungry. I am eating proper meals as well but I used to eat snacks loaded in sugar. The worse thing I used to buy was a pack of four muffins and eat two at a time. I started doing that every few days when I passed the supermarket. It’s an awful habit to get into. I still drink fizzy drinks but they keep me awake when I’m tired due to the caffeine in them. I’m hoping to cut down gradually and then drink more water. I don’t like water whatsoever but I find that it does make me feel better and helps get rid of migraines. I drank a lot when I had my migraine the other day. I woke up migraine free.

I have no more time to rest now. The housework isn’t going to do itself. I cannot afford a cleaner. I also have to arrange my gcse law paperwork into some kind of order too. I haven’t done that for a few days and now everything is scattered all over my settee. I’m never going to be able to revise properly without sorting it because it’s not together properly and the topics have got mixed together. It has definitely been one of those weeks. I turned up to college yesterday without half of the things I should have and it’s not like I could go back when I realised because going home would have meant that I was extremely late for my lesson. I did apologise and felt quite awful for it because one of the things the tutor is supposed to keep there. I took that home by accident the other week and I don’t want to get someone else into trouble. I already have a lot of ground to make up in regards to other people after everything that has gone on over the years. I haven’t been at this place very long and I don’t want to mess up again. I have already realised that there are some people that are part of that organisation I should keep a distance from. It’s nothing personal, mostly down to the situation that has occurred and links that these people may have to others. I just want peace. It has been peaceful for the last six months and I’m hoping that it can stay like that long term. Of course, I am hoping that everything is sorted one day, but right now it isn’t the right time.