Stress getting to me.

I managed to get rid of my migraine after many hours of laying in a dark room. I’m now behind on a lot of things I planned to do. I’m catching up slowly.

I either bloat a lot or my scales aren’t working right. It went from 10.2 to 10.6. Its a digital scale so it should be more accurate. I know that my hormones are making me ill so it could be connected.

Then there is the stress I’m under from all sides. Financially, I am struggling if I can’t get PIP reinstated. Also, the month by month rolling contract isn’t making me feel very secure about keeping my accommodation.  It has all come together and feels like a heavy weight on me. I made a few phone calls yesterday morning in regards to the above. The migraine was ten times worse after I’d done all my enquiries. I react to stress too easily and it is so severe. It literally took me off of my feet today because if I hadn’t gone bed then I’d have passed out.

I only get those types of migraines when I’m at the maximum level of stress capacity. Even though I got made out to be the awful one in the legal situation which started at the university, I was regularly extremely ill during those proceedings. The fact that no one listens in regards to my disability traits doesn’t make it any easier. I’m not a dangerous monster. I was never taught how to be socially and being punished for a disability I can’t help has left me with hang ups.

I’m absolutely constantly stressed about people perceiving me as a danger. All this modern health and safety bullsh*t doesn’t help anyone and just makes things worse for people like me. I have to live in a constant state of anxiety because I live in fear of meeting the wrong types of people and then they go and report me to the police. Even if people say they won’t… doesn’t mean there’s any truth in their words. The majority of people I’ve known are complete liars and evil people. They refuse to understand my disability traits. I’ve never been nasty ever unless I was pushed really hard into retaliating.