I can’t sleep at nearly 4 a.m. in the morning. I barely sleep now. When I do fall asleep then I get horrific dreams. It’s all based around things I’ve been through. I went for a nap earlier and even then I had a nightmare. I literally felt like I was being held down and attacked. I can’t wake myself up, so I’m then trapped until the nightmare let’s me break free and wake up. The worse thing about tonight’s nightmare was the fact that I woke up and saw a face in the creases of the pillow. I’m not just talking about a crease resembling a face. This was a human face. I may have just still been half asleep but,even so, it frightened me. I feel like I’m being attacked for real in these dreams. I would describe these nightmare beings as the demons of people I’ve known who have damaged me in my waking life. I don’t need a lot of sleep. I’m getting used to the feeling exhausted.
I have an early start tomorrow morning because my rehab group is on. I’m going to walk from mine to the next town. I will have to leave at least an hour early because it takes an hour and 20 minutes to walk. It saves on petrol and Gym trips. I’m doing quite well with the weight loss goal now. I’ve already lost an entire inch around my hips and waist. It’s now 37 inch hips and 29 inch waist. I was determined to regain a waist size under 30 inches (starting point). I’ve been having rice cakes and cut out sugary cakes (which I miss so much, but even looking at a cake nowadays causes me weight gain). I’ve reduced bread and cereal intake. I buy gluten free bread and cereal now. It causes less bloat. I also buy goats milk but the annoying thing about that is it goes off much quicker than goes milk. I get a sore stomach and bloat with goes milk. I can drink it in tea but nor have it on cereal.