I would just like to put a stop to people trying to tell me what they think is the best options for me. I am someone who knows exactly what I want. I get very irritated when other people just can’t see that what I want in life is extremely important to me. I don’t like being told that I shouldn’t be doing all the education things and voluntary things together. I don’t always work 24/7 on all the different things that I have going on. I don’t have much in my life. I’ve been denied a family life. Please believe me when I say all the things I’m doing at this moment are things that I need to do. The further I catch up with the education I need to get back onto a university level course, the less resentment I will have over everything that has happened.
Others a lot older than me may see 30 as still young enough to work up at a mega slow speed to where I want to be over time. I do not see it like that. I have been working on things since the age of 17. I started quite young and I feel like I should be a lot further than I am now. If others support me to achieve at the speed I feel that suites my personality. As I’ve said in earlier entries, my disability and personality have always been at odds. They are at totally different ends of the scale. In order to be as happy as I can with the ashes of the life I have been left with, I will need to fight my disability affects and push myself as far as I can possible go.
I know what I want and if I push myself I can achieve it. I put enough time and effort into everything I’m doing right now. I will definitely succeed if I stay on this schedule. Others have refused to recognise my disability. Therefore, I refuse to recognise it’s limitations. And, if anyone wants to get on the wrong side of my personality traits, then I will fight them. I won’t take any sh*t off of anyone now. There is no reason why I can’t do things just like anyone else. I’ve realised I can do things just like others recently after being told throughout my life that I lack the ability to be on the same level as others. If people continue to doubt me and put me down… then I may start aiming higher than the same level.
Once I’ve made my mind up. That is how it is going to be. Life is for living and doing what makes you happy. I feel trapped if I’m not happy. I refuse to feel trapped by anything. I’m a free spirt. Regardless what society does to me, I remain a free spirit because I’ll never be a manufactured minion. I want to do some promo photos for this blog at some point later this year. I want the photos to portray who I am. That is why I need to plan them, but I’m way too busy until at least August of this year. I’m hoping that they are up on the blog by the end of the year.