I actually haven’t been asleep yet. I decided to start walking at about half 8 in the morning to get to the supermarket and back before the snow showers start. I think that I’ve got back in time because I can see spits on the window. I went out with my massive thick coat on, and two other layers underneath. I actually wore a hat and scarf today which is unusual for me. I also had my snow boots on (only ever wear those when it’s either snow or ice).
I managed to do the whole journey with no music in my ears because I didn’t have a mobile. I was always someone who felt their mobile was like a limb connected to them and it was like losing part of me when I forgot it or something. I’m starting to get used to it now and it’s really not much of an alien feeling not to have a mobile now. I realised just how many passers by still say good morning. One elderly gentleman even made a sarcastic comment to me as he passed me in regards to being glad it was finally spring. I replied, ‘but you wouldn’t think it’. A woman pulled up next to me in a land rover and asked if I wanted a lift. I declined and told her I was nearly home. I was only around the corner and I know they were only being helpful but I’m quite wary of accepting lifts from people I’ve never met before. I’m even wary of people I do know offering me a lift because I don’t trust people.
I’ve normally got music in my ears and not really paying much attention. I had to walk over to that supermarket because the local convenience one doesn’t stock the cat food that Mimi will eat. ‘Princess’ Mimi (the cat) refuses to eat any other food. I even bought some older cat food back for Dave (well, originally Thor, but I renamed him after referring to him as Dave for months before I found out his real name). Now that it’s warming up, he’s gone and wandered off again. I am trying to feed them different food because he will eat anything. Mine get certain foods because Mimi is a fussy eater. It is just like having children. I was trying to make a phone call the other day and they were meowing at me in the same tone as a child would moan at a parent. They were due a feed and were ‘reminding me’.
I spoke to one of the neighbours I thought had knocked on my door when I was half asleep. The day when I mentioned on here that someone had knocked on my door asking about what I thought was the car. It wasn’t the one I thought had knocked because I asked him as we passed each other going into and out of our flats today. I was half asleep. It may have been someone saying are you okay or something. I really wasn’t awake at that time. Whoever it was woke me up from my nap and I wasn’t fully woken up. I’m not trying to be awful when I say the next part of this, but I am not interested in anyone’s concern anymore. I was let down by others when I needed them to be understanding and support me. Therefore, I am not interested it now. I have learned to survive on my own because I didn’t have a choice. I’m okay now. And, even if I wasn’t. I wouldn’t trust anyone to get involved in my life and make it ten times worse and add even more to it. I could have done with other people’s concern and support when others let me down. It’s too late now. I’m not trusting of anyone else enough to believe that they actually give a sh*t about me.