This week has been…challenging.

I didn’t go out today because the weather put me off quite a bit. Instead, I did many of the bits of housework I’d been putting off for weeks.  Like, mopping the floors, ironing a huge pile of clothes I’d shoved in my clean washing basket. I don’t like ironing or mopping the floor. It looks a lot more tidy in my flat now. The contract on my mobile has now ended and I can’t put my other sim card in because it’s taking days to unlock my handset. The old mobile number still takes incoming calls but I can’t make any outgoing calls, texts or use internet. I don’t know why they don’t just let everyone go directly to apple for the unlock code. I will be calling apple myself if it doesn’t come through within a week. We are effectively paying a middle company to ask apple to unlock our device. I am surprised that others haven’t already realised that yet. It’s the same with the prescription ordering service. I phoned the pharmacy to order my medication, they told me it would take a week to come through. I knew that I was going to run out before then. I rang up the doctors surgery to see if there was anything they could do. Within two days they’d got another prescription ready and it was ready for me to pick up from one of the other local pharmacies. There should be less ‘paying the middle man’ (or company in these cases) and more directness. I feel that things get lost in translation between several different parties. I sometimes find it hard enough for my brain to let me communicate, let alone having to worry that a company I’ve paid to do something isn’t going to do it properly because a message is being passed from one to another for information to be fed back to me.

This week has been challenging. I started the week off having had money stolen from me by my neighbours.  The weather isn’t helping. I do not like driving in snow since I had that accident in my car a few months ago. I ran out of de-icer for my car and couldn’t find any on sale anywhere I looked.  Then, at the weekend, my side light bulb blew in my car. I know that they will probably sell de-icer at the car maintenance shop but more expensive than the supermarkets. I have an important appointment tomorrow with my mentor to apply to appeal the PIP decision. I texted them before my phone got cut off and if tomorrow gets cancelled due to the weather they are going to ring my home phone. I told them to do that before the network informed me that I can still receive calls on my mobile number. Anyway, I don’t even know if my mobile will be working in the morning because I was listening to music on it earlier and dropped it in the bath by accident. I’ve put it in a bag of rice hoping that it pulls the water out of the mechanics of the iPhone.  The screen still looks full of water. It normally works unless you’ve broken the insides of it. I destroyed my previous iPhone by  accidentally dropping it down the toilet. If it hits an object in water then it’s chances of recovery is normally quite slim. I’m just naturally a clumsy person. It annoys me because I have broken so many things by dropping them. I have twitchy arms sometimes too which isn’t something I can stop. It doesn’t happen as often as it used to but every time it does it is normally at an inconvenient moment.

I’ve had allergy flare ups for the last week or so. I keep itching and feel like I have a cold. I let my cats sleep on my bed and have woken up with streaming eyes. I have a runny nose a lot and get so itchy. I’ve never been allergic to my cats before. I normally get hay fever etc. It’s not even the right weather for allergies. I inherited these allergy things from my Dad. I also have sore feet because I inherited foot problems from my Mum. I injured my toe by stubbing it on the bottom of my sofa last year. It had a bruise on it for a very long time and now it seems to have cleared but the nail has grown back wrong and too thick. I have nails that grow inward so I have to keep them out of the skin at the sides of my toes else it causes soreness. I also get sores on my feet which isn’t helpful when I go walking. I’m feeling quite sore due to allergies and my feet issues.

That isn’t the most challenging part of the week. I’m at ‘that’ time again when I am just over emotional. I just sat there and felt like I just didn’t want to do anything but at the same time didn’t want to just sit in my flat. I eventually went out but I just felt lost. It’s not like I used to be. I used to want to fight the world and was snappy with everyone when I was going through ‘that’. I’m quite sure that I’ve nearly completed ‘that’ completely. I’ve always had quite severe PMS symptoms. I honestly thought that it was just them. There are things that have changed. I used to be just grumpy, but now I am tearful and a little lost. I’ve not stopped them yet but they are getting lighter. Please excuse the graphic details, but they went stupidly heavy for a few years and now barely anything is happening. I was anaemic (well with it being the way it was before I’m not surprised). I wouldn’t want to stop what is happening. I am aware that once the process has happened I won’t be able to have anymore children. I have suffered hormonally since I hit puberty. I feel more settled since they’ve started to do what they’re doing. I wouldn’t want to prevent it happening earlier and suffer again. I can do without it. I completely am accepting of them stopping. Others think I should go the GP just to check why it’s happening but I don’t like messing about with things. I don’t want things going the opposite way again. This way is a lot more bearable for me. I’m sure there’s nothing sinister. It’s rare to go through a menopause this young but it does happen. I had a friend who was premenopausal for a few years and they were in their 30s. I don’t want any more children. I’ve always hated my monthlies. I won’t miss them whatsoever. I will celebrate if they completely stop soon.