I can’t do this anymore.

I worked on my law gcse stuff until very late last night. I had a nap yesterday so I was awake at stupid o clock. I don’t feel well as I have a migraine coming on. I try to avoid sleep until I’m very tired because of dreams etc I keep having. I’m not able to avoid everything by avoiding sleep. I still pick things up at random at the most inconvenient times. I’m like a sponge on a daily basis picking up random stuff. I can’t do it anymore because it gets too much for me. I would love to shut everything off because it would feel a lot less stressful. I just want peace rather than feeling that I have to be burdened with various things coming from others. I’m being forced to live in a state of hell. I pick things up and have dreams randomly which is absolutely no ones fault. But ever since I’ve been forced to hold in my disability traits it’s made me ill.

I have tried to explain these things in the past but no one ever took any notice because they don’t understand. I’ve got progressively  physically iller over the last six months because being forced to ‘lose my disability’ is causing me that much internal stress. It isn’t fair that I have to either live like this or face prison which will mean I will lose everything. I have tried to explain in the past. Others are practically killing me by refusing to compromise and they just are not able to see that. Neurologically, resisting how I’m programmed is causing my physical issues. If it can do that much damage in just 6 months, then imagine how much damage it’s going to do over many more years for the rest of my life.