The worse depression I’ve ever had.

I have been covering the fact that this depression is the worse I’ve ever had in my entire life. I’m not sleeping properly. I shove myself full of food because I’m trying to find some contentment. I then don’t lose weight. Even the Gym can’t get rid of the pounds of food which I eat. I’m going out less and less. I sleep during the day which mrans I barely get anything done. I’ve not cleaned my flat properly for a few months. I can feel myself crumbling and I hate that feeling. I am not able to live like this with the way things remain. It’s cruel of others to even expect me to. I’ve been through enough. I need everything to end and to be able to sort things out. I’ve been stripped of my confidence. I’m just an empty shell who cries every day.  Even when I’m not crying I can feel tears welling up in my eyes. I’ve got to the point where I’m beyond tired. I’m so close to quitting everything. I have horrible nightmares where I’m attacked. I cannot do this for much longer.