I thought today was probably going to be awful after barely sleeping last night because of nightmares again and again. I had one of my nails finally broke. I’m hoping that it doesn’t take too long to regrow again because the majority of my nails are much better than they were. There is still another one that will probably break soon unless the glue holding the damage together holds until I can file out the damage as it grows. I went to the Gym but didn’t do the same amount as the other day because due to lack of sleep I didn’t have the energy. I still spent over two hours there on all the machines I was using the other day. I can feel myself getting more toned already. I’ve not lost any weight but feeling less flabby in only the third week of January is good because all that Christmas food is now shedding off.
I think that I know what may have caused my nightmares last night. I forgot to take my anti depressant last night. I didn’t notice because missing one dosage doesn’t make much difference in regards to feeling low. I remember to take them most of the time but when I get home extremely late then that is when I forget. It’s okay to do it occasionally but not regularly. I won’t miss medication now because I did all that stupidity when I was younger. It isn’t a thing that you want to do because you haven’t a clue that you’re not well really but the medication is the thing stopping your depression. Within a few months you may have lost weight (which was caused by medication) but your depressed again a lot more than before. I stopped it mainly because I hated the weight gain but cold turkeying isn’t a great idea. I don’t wish to rely on medication for the rest of my life but right now it has to be that way.
I now have my manager badge made for me (at the online creative art project) and officially start in that position tomorrow (also I am on the rota for Wednesday and Friday). I’m back at my therapy group this week. It’s healthy emotions this time around. Then the last one I’m on is healthy relationships. I’m meeting my mentor this week and taking them to my pip assessment due to being too nervous and fearful about it to go on my own. I’m getting better at my the Maths for my level 1 exam but I’m struggling with the measurements functional skills questions. I will need to focus on practicing them and watching youtube tutorials. Once I get the concept of something then I am okay. I only have two weeks to learn how to answer the questions I am finding hard. We start going through past papers in class this week. I’m still trying to balance the two subjects (distance learning law gcse and maths functional skills) when revising at home.