I feel ugh :(

I feel bad that I need a nap in the afternoon again. I tried not to need one but I got home from Maths class today and felt extremely rough. I can’t warm up today and I’m so cold that I literally have purple tinges under my nails. I have snappy nails at the moment so I know I’m not right. I shouldn’t be feeling like this because I’ve been taking my iron tablets. I have a reasonable diet but for some reason my body just isn’t taking in the vitamins in the food that I’m eating.  It is obvious that I’m eating enough because of my weight not shedding. I’m now staying a solid 10 stone 7lbs. It doesn’t matter how much I try to lose the extra stone I do not want it won’t go. I am classed as overweight for my bmi by a stone. I don’t think they allow for the fuller figure on that scale. We aren’t all skinny supermodel size! I have never been not curvy because of my height. I felt massive when I reached a size 16 because everything collected around my middle. It’s an issue when you’re on the petite side. I’m not as short as I thought because I was in town with a friend today from my class. They are shorter than me. I’m used to looking up or directly at everyone I have ever met.

I feel quite disappointed with my weight though. I went down to a size 6 at one point. Then I stayed an 8 to 10 for a long time. I’ve filled out and everything has got bigger. I’m finding it hard to do my trousers/jeans up because my hips have spread out. It’s not so much belly fat but hip width.  I also have gone up in bra size because I’m spilling out of the tops of my newest  bras I only bought last year. I can’t fight nature forever because it’s just a losing battle now. I look at other females from my family on both sides and wide hips even without fat gain is a progression with age thing. On the plus side I’ve always had decent sized boobs, never had an issue in that department even at smaller sizes. That is always a good thing about being curvy. I get told that I look better curvier but I personally prefer to be on the slimmer side. Even if I completely shed every bit of fat off of me there would be no way of shrinking my bone structure. I only got away with a size 6 a few years ago because I hadn’t expanded with age. I get to 30 and a few months after  my curvy bits start expanding. I was led to believe that this didn’t happen until middle age. Unless I’m set to die at 60 which would make this middle aged. I’ve now got two grey hairs (well silvery  white hairs), I noticed another one yesterday. The original one doesn’t absorb dye. It’s a white type grey which I think would look quite pretty if I just rolled with it when I do finally go grey all over. There are youngsters having their hair made to look like that. It’s recently been a trend. It isn’t very good for your hair though because it involves stripping and anything involving bleach stresses hair. I know what I’m talking about because I’ve done the bleach thing with my hair several times and it’s always dried it out to the point it’s cauaed damage which has to be cut off. Greasy hair is the best type to bleach because it has the moisture within the hair strand that acts as a protective coat.

I’m going to try to nap now because I feel exhausted and rough. I’m also still very cold despite being in bed typing this entry.