Do NOT drive in this weather! / my comments on exposure programme (itv)

Those of you that know me are aware that I do not get scared easily. Well, at least I didn’t use to be that type of person. However, this snowy weather scares me so much. I had to go over to my Mothers house on the way back to let her know that TalkTalk was going to go to hers tomorrow to fix her telephone and broadband service. Obviously, there was no other way of getting the message to her due to the phone not working.

When I left my Mother’s house it was sleeting. Then it suddenly turns to snow and starts sticking to the ground in a matter of 10 seconds as I was on the way home. I was nearly home when it got really slippery without warning. And literally, it was like bumper cars ( I make light of it now but at that time it caused me to go into full panic attack mode), there was absolutely nothing we could do to stop ourselves going into each other. The conditions changed in a few seconds because the snow started icing up due to the cold.

I drove back very slowly because I was petrified as there was absolutely no grip on the road. The breaks are an absolute no-go area in those conditions.  I felt just about safe at a push in 1st and 2nd gear. There was no damage to my car where we came together but we were all trying our best to slow down and the road just wasn’t letting us. The only way I ended up avoiding the car in front was pulling on the handbrake and going sideways. Unfortunately, that meant the other car also didn’t slow down in time and bounced into the side of my car.

I think I may be still in shock because I am still shaky. Everyone was having to stop on our side of the road because two cars had already skidded into the back of each other and were stopped with hazard lights on. There’s something quite freaky though, I saw the car number plate 666 fte (looks like the word) on that same stretch of road but further down two days ago. There are so many ditches down there and there has already been a driver in a car gone off the road that was found in a ditch the other side of the county recently. That sort of accident is definitely going to happen tonight with how slippery that road was earlier.

In regards to the programme ‘Exposure – Who cares? Children’s Homes Undercover’. I already knew all of this went on before I was watching this tonight. They wonder why these children are unsettled. The vulnerable adult homes aren’t much better. The system runs them as businesses (the same with support services), they don’t have the needs of people as a priority but only the profit. Children and vulnerable adults are like a revolving door of profit to various strings of social care. I’m not saying this to disrespect anyone in the system. Anyone that has been involved in the system knows exactly what goes on and how it’s a case of shut up and don’t talk back if you see something wrong otherwise you’ll face dismissal and in some cases scapegoated for the mess.

Meanwhile, we’re growing up being given criminal records etc because we aren’t supported properly. And not just that is making us end up the way that we grow up to be as adults, it’s the inconsistency and never being able to settle anywhere. We never actually get to know anybody and they don’t get to know us to know what works for who we are as people. The majority of us have come from homes with multiple issues that have already had us unsettled and caused mental health issues. I know what caused my problems now. I couldn’t have ever tackled my OCD communicating issues (which resulted in me being labeled a criminal) if I hadn’t worked out what was causing them. Unfortunately, it’s the so-called help system that has fuelled the severity of my problems.

I was born into a home where I never actually felt that I was anything but someone to look after my Father (he was disabled quite severely when I got to my teen years) when my Mother wasn’t around. I didn’t have the same Father as my siblings and they both had the same Father. I was always trying to include myself in the lives of others so that they’d in a way adopt me so I would feel wanted for me and not just what my duties were. I have the type of Mother who was emotionally cold. I get overzealous when I meet someone I like because I just want to feel what I never got as a child. And, I am aware that people poke fun at it. But, I feel that my life would have been completely different if I had found someone that accepted me and I hadn’t learned to overdo things when getting to know other people. And also if I’d been nurtured rather than left to my own devices to become whatever. I had no molding and the system certainly pushed me into a reality that I couldn’t thrive in. These kids and vulnerable adults don’t have anyone consistently in their lives. It damages a person a lot when they start to trust people that get ripped away because of over cautious health and safety legislation. There is no common sense. They do not understand why a compromise hasn’t been able to be made. The system doesn’t allow for compromises that would not destroy people.