I cannot go on like this because I can’t sleep after everything that has gone on and it’s driving me mad. I’m beyond tired. I’m unable to stop thinking about things. I’m so tired that I’m nearly in tears. I just want to sleep but I’m so frustrated at things having been left as they are and all the lies I uncovered in my files. I can’t do anything about any of it and it is constantly digging at me.
The untrue stuff and everything that has happened is making me hate myself. If people knew how I’d ended up in trouble then they wouldn’t be seeing me in a negative way. Every time I was reacting to some form of discrimination and no one listened to me in order to prevent everything that occurred. If others refuse to acknowledge and make reasonable adjustments for my disability traits then this isn’t fair. By punishing me, others aren’t acknowledging my needs which controls my disability traits.
It’s damaging me being unable to be myself. It’s forcing me to live a lie and I start to despise my existence because the negative behaviours get rid of my stress when I can be myself. Due to misunderstandings and miscommunications, I live in fear of being sent to prison for having my disability. That is a horrible way to live, all because of societies refusal to understand and work with my disability. I have lost any future potential opportunities because I’ve been given the criminal label. I get to the point on a daily basis where this existence just makes me want to end my life. I see no hope with these labels and lies attached to my name.