I have thought so much about whether this is a good idea or not for many weeks. I am not coming out with this to cause trouble, just to point out that I’m not a bad person like I have been painted. I do not wish to create a new argument and I do not want anyone else to get into trouble either because that would just make things ten times worse. The only thing I would like is things sorted and my name cleared if possible. I have been extremely affected negatively by things that the other person’s friends have said to me online. This also coincided with the time I tried to commit suicide because their comments pushed me to that point.
I’ve recently got rid of anyone that knows the other person which I had on one of my social networking profiles. They made me feel horrendous over what had happened a lot when they spoke to me via my status comments. I think that I also need to say this because the other person really doesn’t understand how much they’ve affected me. And why I will not change my stance on how I feel about everything and what I want and especially need.
I was extremely vulnerable and quite naive when I met the other person involved. I had literally just lost my baby son to adoption. I had postnatal depression so I wasn’t feeling very settled. I was upfront about my disability traits. I didn’t hide how it affected me from either the university or the other person. The other person promised me that I would not get kicked out of university and they wouldn’t get the police onto me for my disability traits. The week before the university threatened me to get me to lose my behaviour problems or I would get kicked out, the other person told me that it was okay to email them if I needed to talk or something along those lines. They never told me to stop ever themselves. As soon as the higher-ups in the university got involved, the other person basically bailed on me and denied everything they’d ever said to me. Then they wonder why I got upset by their behaviour and say things in anger that I wouldn’t have said otherwise. Then for the last two years, they act like I’m the awful one. That kind of behaviour was immensely cowardly. I was let down by the other person first and I was only reacting to the universities refusal to acknowledge my disabilities limitations and provide reasonable adjustments rather than demanding that I lose my disability traits.
The other person also is refusing to acknowledge my disability because they’re punishing me for it by keeping this order on and going to the police in the first place. I am kept awake by an order being in force that I didn’t even deserve. I am NOT a danger to ANYONE. I only reacted to the discrimination that I encountered and being treated awfully also by my support service alongside that. I made a complaint about my support service but they will always write that down as a negative too. I spent a year and a half feeling more and more bullied under them until I eventually told them to get out.
As far as I’m concerned, the support service backed up the universities discriminative attitude by telling me that they weren’t prepared to appeal the exclusion and me having to say that I didn’t want to go back to the university when this wasn’t really my wishes. This is what led to me completely losing my temper and saying the out of character things to the other person. I just want others to see the truth and change things. Get rid of the order and say that I was only reacting to discrimination. That is the main thing I want for Christmas apart from the fact that I’d love to be reunited with my son. I don’t want to have to spend night after night feeling like a horrible person because of what other people believe to be the truth. It keeps me awake and leaves me in a distressed state because of my Autism side and others won’t understand that because they don’t have my condition.
I will quote what one of the other person’s friends said to me, this goes around my head constantly. ‘(other person’s name) only wants to be friends with good people, not criminals, (other person’s name) would never want to be friends with the likes of you’. It’s comments like this that just go through my head constantly and causes me depression etc. And then because I blocked him due to things he said to me, he got all the others to lay into me via twitter. I am a good person and that is why I wanted to take an opportunity to spell everything out that happened. I wouldn’t stop contacting the other person because the last thing they told me themselves is stated above.