I feel that I must point a few things out. It has become apparent to me that others don’t understand depression. I haven’t been getting up until quite late on my days off. This isn’t because I am lazy, I am depressed. This isn’t like being lazy at all. When I am awake I am more productive than many people who aren’t suffering from depression. I’m cannot stand these judgments. I can no longer smile anymore. I walk around feeling like I am going to cry a lot. And, even when I feel okay, sometimes I can still feel tears welling up in my eyes.
I don’t think I’ve smiled for a few years. I have forced a smile when I’m in company, however, not truly smiled. I tried to get others to listen, but they thought was that I was either playing games and even when it was getting to the point where I nearly took my own life, thought that I was just doing that to punish others. The things that have been said to me hasn’t helped. I get upset when others judge aspects of me and my life which they do not understand. The things that have happened have damaged me. I tried to remain unaffected, but I can’t now.