I got that dreaded letter (well, one of many if you have to rely on the benefits system because of being disabled etc). We have been made aware that DLA (Disability Living Allowance) is ending for a few years. I was told personally a few months ago by a call handler at the council (rang them up about support but this came up in conversation) that there is one assessor in the whole of this county covering the many areas within the county side. I don’t know for sure but as the city council receives more funding than the county council then they’ve probably got quite a few despite it being a smaller area than the whole county put together. They tell me that I have to make a claim for PIP by mid-November but fail to put on the letter when my DLA payments will actually cease. I’ve looked online and cannot find a specified date when the payments end to current claimants already receiving DLA on an indefinite basis.
We have been told it is ending but given no specific date. Then we’re sent these letters which are worrying in the way that they are worded. There are a lot of us on this benefit who literally rely on these payments in order to live because we do not have a form of employment due to barriers in that department. We don’t need this extra stress of not knowing when the payments are going to stop. I fear that I’m not going to get PIP because of the assessment criteria. I will not score high on the mobility or daily living because I do not have physical issues which prevent me from getting about. I don’t need help with eating or drinking etc. I can prepare food to a point. I stick to simple meals because I’m not a brilliant cook. However, some of the general population who aren’t disabled get by with limited cooking skills and manage to feed themselves on a daily basis. I can wash/bathe myself and go the toilet unaided. I’m certainly not going to get any more than the standard rate. And I’m set to lose half of my income with the discontinuance of DLA. I literally use the extra I get to be able to afford my rent because I only have a percentage of my rent paid and have to put the rest towards it. I have a nearly £800 PayPal credit bill to pay off which is most likely going to accumulate regularly due to the APR. The chunks you pay off will keep going back up again because of that system.
I’m not seeing as many numbers as I have previously. However, the strange thing happened with my car again. It’s happened a few times and not just with the car I have now. Therefore, it cannot be down to the cars. There is something really bizarre and I know that others think I’m barking mad to even consider it. I had my dashboard dials go down in my previous car (which I had to get fixed because that was knocked out on a permanent basis) and then this car has had three occasions now where the dials have gone down and I’ve had to restart the electrics in the car by turning it off and on again. I don’t know if it’s a Vauxhall model issue because both of my cars were that brand of car. There could be a logical technical explanation for it because they were both the same type of car. I saw two magpies on the way home today. On a serious note though, too many unexplainable things have happened together for there to not be something in all of it. I know this sounds absolutely insane (even I’m thinking to myself that I’m completely insane for even considering this) but I get the feeling that something is around me. I’m not alone even when I am alone physically. I have my Dad that has passed away and my Grandparents etc. However, it takes a hell of a lot of energy for spirits to generate the things that I have been seeing over the last couple of years. There would have to be more than just a few passed over relatives causing these things. I get scared in case it is trying to ‘mess with me’ or ’cause me harm’. I don’t know if they have my best interests at heart. I may not even have my Dad etc around me. I could have random spirits unrelated to myself linking onto me because they know I’m sensitive.
I’m worried because of what has happened in the physical world with the living, that I may get attacked or linked onto by those that have passed over. I think that if there is someone around me, they have known that I am aware of them even though I cannot see them. I know how crazy it sounds but there’s definitely been someone passed over manifesting these things. It doesn’t feel like my Dad or other relatives. It feels like a strangers energy because it’s not familiar to me. This has latched onto me and made me see the numbers and all the other things and it’s all been since I met the other person involved with the case against me. That is when it started. I’m not mentally ill. I know the difference between what is real and what isn’t. I’ve taken photographic evidence and shown friends these sequences of information that etc that keeps occurring just to prove to myself that I wasn’t cracking up. The reason I took that photographic evidence was to prove to others I wasn’t mentally ill. I cannot post those things on the blog because some of it is information I just can’t share publically. It would upset others and I don’t want any more trouble. I want to make peace with everyone in time and not have to put up with orders on me for life etc. I don’t want conflict or to fight and I know that publishing the photos I’ve taken as evidence that I’m not crazy will make others annoyed. But, I know that there is something and it’s become more apparent over time. I was trying my best to put it down to pure coincidences for a long time because I never wanted to believe that there was anything in it. There comes a point when it just starts trying to make it more obvious, and that is what happens when you strongly refuse to believe it.
Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert Blog 