Desperately need proper sleep… :(

I am beyond exhausted. The last two weeks has been a never ending cycle of waking up throughout the night. I didn’t sleep at all last night and am starting to feel overwhelmed. I can’t do things when I’m this exhausted. I don’t have the ability to function properly.

I am propping myself up with painkillers again which isn’t the best idea but they kept me going for a while. But now I’m in desperate need of rest. It isn’t helping my knee get less swollen. I can feel the fluid in it. I’m trying to avoid having to go get anti inflammatory medication from the gp because it repaired itself after I was pregnant and I couldn’t take them when it swelled up during that time. I think rest and letting it heal itself will make it less temperament in the long term, at the moment it’s any slight knock that sets it off. I need to make sure it repairs itself completely this time. I don’t feel that the medication is a long term fix because that’s fluid which it drains off may help it to repair itself long term. It only kicked off majorly when I tripped over and landed right on that knee cap last Christmas. It will take a while to get it to settle again. It seems to go through these stages. It’s more tiring carrying this injury around because my leg feels heavy (it’s not painful but my knee cap feels strained like it’s weakened a bit). I’m not limping but when it got bad at Christmas I ended up limping. It only gets like that when I have way too much fluid in my leg and then I have to get anti inflammatory medication. It’s like having a tree trunk leg. I know I’m probably not as fat as I feel right now, but I feel like that due to not being able to exercise like normal due to this leg. I can do some things but not anything involved with walking or putting weight on my knee.

I can’t think in a sentence this morning due to lack of sleep. I’m fed up of being awake then dropping off, then waking up again on a continuous basis. I just can’t rest properly and it’s really stressing me out. I’m getting to the point where I am beyond exhaustion and if I can’t sleep properly soon I’m going to literally have a breakdown. I can feel myself not able to deal with this exhaustion any longer.