Very tough day.

I woke up late with a migraine. I was made late for college by 10 minutes because I popped in the Co-op for a drink and a woman tried to recruit me to sell Avon. I would think about it if I knew that you didn’t have to pay for all the books, plastic wallets and order forms up front. She had the idea that I could be the Avon supplier on the block of flats where I live. I don’t feel that the audience demographic for Avon is really applicable in those flats. I’m sure that the older generation would rather not have their bells rung by those selling things. I don’t even like that as a younger person. However, I do not answer my door or phone half of the time due to living alone. I don’t feel that it is safe to do so anymore in the kind of society that is happening out there. I will not buy any type of product over the phone or on the doorstep as a rule. I order off the internet, but after a few bad experiences, I’d rather see what I’m buying when it comes to larger purchases. 

We didn’t end doing a lot of Maths at college today because a fire alarm practice went off right in the middle of it. We all went outside and that was a huge distraction. I can’t concentrate when I have a migraine anyway. I ended up chatting to someone who wasn’t doing something elsewhere in the college that I know due to the fact that we were all sent outside during the fire drill. Until one of my group called me back over because the tutor had to do the register. It’s been a day for talking to people in general. I decided to go way out of my comfort zone completely today. I asked many of the homeless in the city (some down secluded alleyways … which was a bit dangerous but I had to know information) about their experiences and a lot of them had been targeted by the police and the conviction targets of this area. I know that they weren’t lying about some of their experiences because I’ve been through them. I did this as a vulnerable adult female, therefore, I am sure that we can collectively tackle these issues. I am well aware that I could have been mugged or whatever, but when I want to know something, I have to go and find out. It helps to have no sense of danger associated with my Autism sometimes. I’m still quite shy but I know that I can’t find out information without asking. I was in a lot better situation than I was this time last week. I realised that I had to become tougher at that point. I am not streetwise at all. I’ve never felt the need to be that way. I thought I’d try it because I know that I have to learn to stick up for myself. And, it doesn’t matter who ends up prime minister, there is a point when it’s down to us as individuals and groups to try to improve society. 

I was in a lot better situation than I was this time last week. I realised that I had to become tougher at that point. I am not streetwise at all. I’ve never felt the need to be that way. I thought I’d try it because I know that I have to learn to stick up for myself. And, it doesn’t matter who ends up prime minister, there is a point when it’s down to us as individuals and groups to try to improve society. I would personally like Corbyn to become prime minister (according to a dream I had that might just happen), but I absolutely hate the Tories and I also hated Blair etc so I see Corbyn as a lesser evil. I sit on the fence politically. I do not believe that we should be practically a slave to one political parties beliefs. Even if we support a particular party, we should remain open-minded about things that they don’t necessarily campaign about. Before the likes of Corbyn gained popularity, I was behind the Green party (they had no hope of getting into power during elections due to their percentage). I didn’t live by all the environmental things that the greens campaign to end etc. I have my personal beliefs which are totally separate. I’ve always been a wild hippy at heart and I’ve had friends say to me a few years ago that I even dressed like a hippy. I don’t like our modern society. I am quite old-fashioned for my age. I’d love to go back to a more simpler time which Corbyn may bring us due to the fact he wants to strip it back to the 1970’s attitude. I’d have loved to have grown up in the 60s-70s because I feel that it would have been a lot simpler for me. I most likely wouldn’t have grown up with a label and I’d never have been shy because there was no internet so I’d have naturally learned not to be. I would miss the internet, but I feel it is rather intrusive being able to be contactable 24/7 via social networks etc.  I never used to feel like this but as I get older I want more time to myself. I’m most likely getting old and boring though. I think social networks are more beneficial for the teenage audience. I get snapchat mentioned to me and instantly say that I’m way too old for that. I hate photos since I’ve started to look older and slightly more rounded. I feel that we miss out socially at lot in modern society. We can’t take the internet away, but we can stop relying on it so much. I’d rather go out there and meet people than sitting online text chatting to people hoping that one day I’ll come across someone I can really connect with and at some point become a ‘life partner’ (nowhere near that point yet though). I do not feel comfortable with any form of internet dating. I do not feel comfortable with there being so much controlled by computers because it is unsafe due to hackers and potential malfunctions. If my grandparents came back now (they’d be nearly 100 if they were), they wouldn’t recognise the society that we live in now… and they only passed away in the 90s. They certainly wouldn’t like how things have gone. It’s too complicated out there and it makes it so confusing for those of us with learning disabilities. I get called ‘Grandma’ by some of my friends that are my age because I talk about things that much older people would talk about and come out with things that are older than my age group (I was bought up by older parents, they weren’t). Those of us that are ‘older’ in mannerisms are extremely ‘stuck in their ways’ and have a dislike for how things are done in society. The lack of common sense and a commitment to complicate things with more and more red tape is irritating. It is okay making new rules and regulations, but they never look at previous ones, which results in ridiculous things happening that shouldn’t be. The health and safety madness creates problems, rather than fixes them. Anyway, before I go into a full rant… I have too much to do to get into all that.