Winning :)

I managed to spend a whole day off of painkillers 🙂 That may be good, but on the other hand, I feel so rough with withdrawal effects. I didn’t even have the energy to get out of bed until extremely late. I didn’t sleep until 6 am this morning though. I forgot a guest blog entry that I was due to be published on another site by Monday. I did an all nighter to meet the deadline. I will share the link when they notify me about its publication. I most likely should have got it done before the weekend, but everything has been a bit of a blur the last couple of days. I am not intending on losing my latest job opportunity after just a few weeks. I am feeling really low, but this is because the painkillers normally give you a ‘lift’.

I was anxious last night and started fiddling with my hair (causes it to snap and look horrible). I put it up in princess Leia type buns to keep my thick hair up so that I am not tempted to play with it. I don’t want to lose any length. I probably lost a lot of hair pulling it around last night. I have a sore scalp. I’m starting to notice the odd gray hair strand. I was clipping my hair up today with the many hair clips required to keep my thick hair in style. It’s only the odd few, but more than I’ve ever had before. They aren’t proper gray, just the silvery bits that come through before you start going completely gray. It’s been happening to me for two years and still not properly gone gray, so I’m hoping it’s just the odd strands for many years to come. I’m only 30 years old in a month or so. I already have dry hair and when it goes gray it’s going to be even worse and probably snap more. I’m starting to think that even if I do manage to grow my hair, then it’s going to be short again after I reach a certain age. I have an issue with hairdressers cutting too much off. It seems to be a thing. I’ve stopped going to my hairdresser so much because they never trim the ends, they cut too much off. I can now feel my hair down my back and I like it that way. It’s taken me over two years to get it that way and it’s an achievement I do not wish to be undone. I regretted cutting my hair as a teenager and have never been able to grow it the same again. I had hair right down my back before that point.

I now know that it was the painkillers making me swollen and bloated because I feel slimmer already (my jeans aren’t so tight). I no longer have a sore stomach. But, I still don’t feel like I’m going to be able to do it long term.