I have just finished 3 online courses (results below). Introduction to Psychology, Negotiation and Conflict Resolution, and Education in the Modern World. It’s made me feel a lot better today because I feel like I’ve achieved something during the summer break. I have health problems that are ‘kicking off’ and I’ve been quite moody due to how I’m feeling for the last few days. I know that others have noticed. I’m trying so hard to get over things and tackle my issues, but then I get a troll that refuses to leave me alone. I did the one thing you should never do with trolls. I got annoyed with them and basically told them to ‘do one’. I just couldn’t take what they were saying anymore. It’s hard enough everyone hating you in real life for things you did by accident due to your disability, let alone comments like theirs. I already have it in my head that others think I’m scum due to things that have happened. I know I messed up big time and I don’t want idiots constantly reminding me that I am hopeless when it comes to how others perceive me and what they think I deserve.
I’d also like to touch on “everything happens for a reason”. It seems that my figure is changing. I have tried to lose weight, but I’m changing shape. Even if I lost a stone, my shape would be different. I am constantly reminded by older friends that I’m no longer a child in regards to my figure because I’m starting to age. I think that I’m going to have to face the fact that my body is just going to progressively get wider. It’s just how things progress. It’s the same when my older friends say that love isn’t always the thing that should take priority, that I should use my head rather than let my heart lead me.
I think I’m going to gain weight anyway. I had a dream recently. I was 32 (3 years from now). I wasn’t fat, but I was wider than I am now. I looked different. I’m not sure that I liked the way that I looked. However, I had everything that I’d ever wanted. I was allowed back at the university. The order was dropped and I was friends with the other person involved. I know that I shouldn’t get my hopes up. I do have dreams that are precognitive. I am aware that others do not believe in this stuff. Or they refuse to even go there because it scares them. And, to be honest, this used to be me. Then when I kept sensing things or dreaming things that end up happening in reality, there comes a point when trying to convince yourself otherwise is futile. It is exactly what it appears to be regardless. I used to go to a psychic and they told me how whatever occurs in that situation was meant to be because it would lead me to where I was meant to be in life. One thing they said was that we are both similar, but we are also as different as we are similar. We had met each other to effectively ‘teach’ each other some things. Those lessons had to be learned first before things would be okay between us. The time she saw us together as friends was years into the future (this reading was done two years ago), so 32 in my dream could very well be correct. I was established in the career stuff that I had eventually settled into. Jonny’s parents decide to contact me when he’s 10. And all this happens at the same time. And, ironically, I would have been set to graduate from my university course at that age if everything had worked out. I shouldn’t have rushed everything. I have learned the lesson that I’m suppose to learn. As soon as that happens, karma sets a person free and everything changes to what you desire bit by bit because karma has made sure you earned it.