I’d rather not be part of this world.

The more I age, the more I hate the world around me. The Asperger obsession that I have is the injustice. I will obsessively follow any lead like a dog with a bone to end anything that I see as an injustice. I do not have the ability to rest about anything that I see as an injustice. It literally affects me and drains my energy if I do not sort it. There are so many instances of injustice in this world. It literally blows my mind with frustration that that injustice exists. 

I absolutely cannot stand the British ‘stiff upper lip attitude’ which states ‘keep calm and carry on’. I’m sorry, that I something I just cannot do. I do not have the ability to just sit down and accept things that I can plainly see aren’t right in any moral sense. It maybe the fact that I’ve grown up being able to feel things around me. There is such a thing as ‘evil’ energy because I’ve felt it. We see that evil energy manifesting in what is going out throughout our world. And what can we do to combat this evil is to join together in solidarity. There’s is no way that we can achieve some form of justice unless we join together.  

I cannot like the world that I have grown up in. I just feel like we are living under a dictatorship. The freedom that we’re told that we have when growing up, is in reality not there. In reality, we get told we either do what others want us to do, or face punishment. I don’t agree with that kind of society. I see that kind of society as extreme injustice. We had a war to combat that kind of systematic control.

The situation that I ended up in wouldn’t have happened if those that surrounded the situation hadn’t told the parties what they should be doing. It pushed individuals into conflict and now I have a load of hateful and negative energy towards me because no one did the right thing. Instead, they did what was right for them, not those involved. I will never let go of that injustice because of what I was subjected to. I see it as utmostly cruel. I can never rest over it because fighting injustice is my Aspie obsession.

Others want to click their fingers and demand that I get over something that has been left hanging and not properly sorted. The system wants to punish me for making an issue about what I’d found out regarding my support and the university handling my case wrongly. That is something that I can’t do. They’re indirectly asking me to suffer because it literally zaps my energy and causes me extreme distress to have to live with an injustice.

One thought on “I’d rather not be part of this world.

  1. This is so much like how I am it blows my mind! One peak at my Facebook will back that statement up…but wow…I definitely relate and never really saw someone put words to it as have here…again…thank you for sharing your experiences.

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