I had to get up so early this morning. I was actually doing my Maths booklet at half 7 this morning before I had to go out. I had to go for a blood test at half 8. I’m getting quite drained by my health problems. They’re all kicking off because of the stress I’m under. I have a nagging headache that just will not go away. I’ve had it for two days now and it’s starting to get rather annoying. Painkillers won’t touch it. I think I may have hay fever or a cold because I keep having to blow my nose all the time. There are fields around the village where I live, but it’s normally when that oil seed rape crop that gives me hay fever. I thought I had a cold a fortnight ago but it went away after a day. The headache clears when I first blow my nose. I wish it would go permanently. I’m watching the wright stuff (again, it’s a daily routine for me when I’m up early enough). I saw the part regarding volunteers at the National Trust refusing to wear the Rainbow Gay Equality badge. Those that weren’t prepared to wear it subsequently got told they couldn’t work on the front line anymore. I fully respect their decision not to wear the badge and I’m not sure that they should be told that they can’t work on the front line services. The badge doesn’t always have to represent the Gay community. In this case it has been adopted by the Gay community. However, a Rainbow symbolizes hope, which can apply to us all as a society. It can represent hope for every single disadvantaged group. It is very important that all disadvantaged groups join together because there is strength in numbers. The support systems in the UK are broken, so the only hope we have is to help each other. I know in theory it isn’t that simple. But, it could be if people weren’t liable to be punished for speaking out against inefficient systems. I do not care what other people thinks of me being honest about my experiences of the system. I would have to be seriously careful if I had a job though because an employer can dismiss someone for saying something controversial against the system. I made sure that I said something when I did find things out. It does look like I’ll get punished for that. But, I believe in honesty and transparency. Both of those aspects weren’t even a factor when the services were ‘dealing’ with my case. I put the word dealing in quotation marks because they didn’t deal with the issues. Instead, they made the situation into what it turned into and how it remains in the present day. They’re not going to hold their hands up and admit to the mistakes that they have made. Instead, they’re going to lay it all on my head and I could actually go to prison because they didn’t do their job properly. I wasn’t supported by my support service. I was lied to and not told the full facts so that I could understand things which don’t come naturally to me because of my disability.
This leads me on to the other things that were covered in the programme today. The lead family court judge has spoken out about how awful our mental health support is in this country. He literally had no idea what to do with a suicidal girl in his court room who was about to be let out into the community. She was in no fit state to be going home because she was trying to commit suicide at every opportunity, even in a room with no furniture whatsoever. They also mentioned the cottage hospital system that used to be in place years ago. I hear that there used to be one locally. The older generation remember the time when this area did have a place that would take in those that needed help but wasn’t eligible for a secure psychiatric unit. There was barely any giving of criminal records to those with mental illness because the situation didn’t get that far because help was given before it reached a crisis point. It should go back to that sort of system because it would be a lot less stressful for those of us with problems. We wouldn’t have to lose everything and everyone we value because things wouldn’t be allowed to go so far if the help was put in earlier. There would be more stability in our lives. Stability is what I’ve wanted most in my adult life. The way things are done has meant that I have never been able to obtain that much needed factor. That helps control my ocd/asperger traits. Instability and stress triggers those traits and that is all that our system gives to us.