I can’t do what is happening.

I’ve not been well all week. I’ve had to spend half of the week in bed. I just can’t deal with the things that I’m being forced to face. I’m not making anything up to get out of trouble. I’m being honest. It’s making me extremely ill. I can barely eat and I feel absolutely terrible. I take painkillers etc and nothing works. This is harming me very badly. I try to put a brave face on when I have to go out. I am always feeling it when I’m at home though. I’m constantly on edge. I cannot relax whatsoever. This doesn’t have to be the way that it is anymore. I genuinely made the mistakes because I did not understand until someone told me. I don’t deserve the punishments anymore. I wish that others would just see sense and be able to see that I was naive. I completely misjudged the whole situation and let my anger control my actions. I couldn’t help being angry after everything that happened. It’s not good for any of us involved to keep this going any longer. I never meant to hurt the other person. I was stupid and inexperienced in relationships. This process is hurting me and I’m sure that they wouldn’t want to do that. The things that happened wasn’t entirely my fault, so why should I take all the responsibility for it? I know that the system always has to blame someone. But, now the truth has surfaced and we know what happened from either side of the situation, I don’t see why things have to continue in a legal capacity. I get it. I’m gone. I’ll never darken their door again by my presence. I just wish for fairness now. I’ve suffered enough in this situation. They may not think that I have, but they don’t know what went on in my life over the last 2 years. We were practically played off against each other and there was a lot of lies told to me by my support service. I don’t need this because it’s making me so ill. I can’t do this illness anymore.