I have just spent 2 hours looking through all my paperwork to find a specific receipt which I need to return my faulty mattress (springs and sinking after just a year). I literally ended up sweating. I never thought looking through paperwork (sorting it by throwing things in the bin which I didn’t need) was… Read More So much paperwork!

The rest has made me feel a lot better. I still can’t see properly but wearing my glasses so my eyes can rest a little. I got up this evening to have a bath, put on clean pjs, get something to eat and do a few bits around the flat (cleaning, ironing (all the boring… Read More Better now, well nearly.

I keep getting a sore throat. I had a really awful sleep. I kept waking up. I just feel off today, I don’t want to get up. I can’t look at anything without my eyes getting sore. I will get up at some point but not yet. I need rest for a few more hours.… Read More I don’t see myself being up to much today.

I was falling asleep about 9pm. Then I woke up to sort myself out to go to bed for the night. I had pots to wash up from dinner earlier and the clean washing had to be put on clothes horse to dry. I didn’t think that I had woken myself up too much until… Read More Insomnia is back.

I barely slept last night and had to be at my hair appointment for half 11 this morning. After that I had to pop to my mum’s to set up new router for the internet. On the way from hairdressers I went to the gym and then got a few bits (saves me going on… Read More Busy day. This is my current mindset.

I sometimes don’t know whether I can trust my own brains perception. Or if my BPD makes me see a favourite person in rose tinted spectacles. I watched a video of the person that I missed since they stopped speaking to me at Christmas. I feel like I was watching a different person. That is… Read More What did I ever see ? Can I trust my perception?

I have been sat on the sofa since getting up really late. I decided not to go for a walk today because my leg has collected water and it doesn’t go down if I don’t take a break for a day. I have to do some things around the flat (it’s a mess). The cat… Read More Rest day… properly this time.

I keep getting told that I should move on from things that have happened. I have but it isn’t as simple as ’moving on’. There are so many more levels. Things aren’t so black and white. It hasn’t even been 6 months yet. It wasn’t just that I had met someone which I liked and… Read More This is what people just don’t understand.

I have taken myself back several steps by eating a big bar of chocolate two evenings in a row. I now look really chunky in the dress I am wearing today. I swear that my waist has grown in a few days but my lower stomach has gone down a bit due to making sure… Read More I never progress properly.

I went to bed at a decent time (11pm) with the intention of having an early night. That didn’t happen and now I am stuck awake. I just can’t settle. I was sleeping quite well for at least 3 weeks but now insomnia has come back. I have no idea why it has flipped back… Read More I can’t settle tonight.