I stayed in bed the whole day because I was unwell in the middle of the night and didn’t go back to sleep until 6am. That is my way of ‘hiding away’ when others are around during the day. I really felt rough last night. I have quite a messy flat and really need to… Read More ‘Hide away day’. But, I am no longer letting people tell me my career dreams won’t happen due to the mistakes caused by my disability issues.

I have never felt so utterly worn out in my life. I had stomach pains and now I feel really hit  I might have a bug but stress can do the exact same things to a person. I’m beyond anxious about rearranging the exam I have missed. It’s the weekend which makes it worse because… Read More I’m completely worn out. I can’t settle due to anxiety and I feel sweaty hot 😦

I didn’t get the sleep I needed last night because I was kept awake due many things which I should have sorted out today. I had an update of the victim compensation via letter yesterday and they’re telling me the deductions from my benefits (the little amount I actually get now) finish in August but… Read More Slept all day and never got the list of what I needed to do because it kept me awake all night. And, scam warnings when it comes to being a vulnerable person.

Today has taught me that I am still just as wet behind the ears when it comes to life experience. I’m never being unquestioning or unsuspecting of anywhere I have something to do with again. I have been so absent-minded about others deliberateness to unwarily make my life more difficult. As far as I’m aware… Read More Well, I must remind myself never to be callow again…

I cannot live on this little money any longer. I wrote to the DWP a few days ago to request that they consider to assess me for the support related group. They send me a letter today which was exactly the same as the last work related group break downed one. It’s like I’m totally… Read More I can’t do this much longer. And, I mean everything combined.

I’m quite cut up emotionally right now. I have been crying for a few hours. Those that read the blog regularly most likely have come to realise that I hate any form of goodbye’s. This is due to my past experiences and the fact that my Mother never wanted me. These are referred to in… Read More Pathetically heavy-hearted today. Everyone that makes me feel secure leaves by circumstance. And, this is important because I need others to understand that I’m not what they assume.

I have NEVER missed an exam in my life before. However, today I woke up far too late to get there. I will be allowed to do it next month I’m told. I have been honest about my circumstances with my tutor (even though it was hard due to what I’d been through), so they… Read More I’m totally not coping right now. But, I’m extremely frightened of any mental health service.

I have spent half the night revising for my exam tomorrow (well in about 4 hours) because I was writing the statement for my tribunal with the Department of Work and Pensions. I literally had to take Diazepam earlier and fall into a deep sleep because I felt that stressed writing about my disability in… Read More Re. Tribunal Statements (hate them). But here is mine I typed up earlier… one page missed out because of phone malfunction.

I have had enough of being seen as someone that I’m not. This is why I have taken this decision to explain what happened from the start of a situation that I’m now being punished via an indefinite restraining order for life. And, also going to point out a few other things that need to… Read More I was NEVER the bad one. I was merely pushed into a situation by circumstances and they are explained here.

I am more tired than I have ever been in my entire life. I’m not even looking for attention. I’m being brutally honest and everyone who truly knows me will know that this is how I am. I don’t believe in beating about the bush when you can just say it. In all honesty, I… Read More I’ve never felt like this before. I know my breakdown is coming and I can’t avoid it.